Trouble getting it up

So I recently officially "came out" to both myself and lots of my close family/friends (and by recently I mean maybe 5-6 months ago). Since then I've really been trying to explore my sexuality more. Prior to coming out I had never been with a guy sexually but had fantasized a lot to gay porn and stuff, which definitely got me hard.

Since coming out, I have seen a few guys, but they all fizzled out before reaching the sexual phase. However there is this one guy I have been hanging out with lately. We hung out one night and had a good time. A week later we went out again...I had quite a bit to drink that night, I went to his place, and I ended up in bed with him.

Okay, so let me first explain that I'm normally not the type to just sleep around with anyone and pointless hookups do nothing for me. And even though I ended up in bed with this guy after only the second time hanging out with him, I still feel attracted to him, he's got a really sweet personality, etc.

However, I was completely unable to get an erection. That night I sort of just blamed it on the alcohol...I was still able to pleasure him and it was still a good time. (For the record, I definitely was turned on because I had plenty of precum in my shorts)

But now, just the other night, we hung out for the third time. We went out for dinner, had a more romantic time, made even more of a connection, and this time we ended up at my place. And ended up in bed together again. I was completely sober, and still no erection. (Still lots of precum though so again, I was definitely aroused)

I guess performance anxiety seems to be the most logical answer. I mean this is the first guy I have ever been sexual with, and typically when we end up at each other's places, he wants to get right into it, which definitely puts a bit of pressure on me. I enjoy being physical with him, but I worry that he's going to start losing interest if he keeps noticing that things are a bit limp down there. (Edited to add: I will say though that this hasn't turned him away yet, because even after both times of me not getting hard, he still is really sweet to me and seems to want to continue spending time together)

The strangest part of this whole thing is that ever since the first time I ended up in bed with this guy, I've been having trouble getting an erection all the time. Even when trying to masturbate, or just thinking about sexual things that used to get me hard. I don't have problems masturbating once I help myself along, but I've noticed it's become harder for me to just get an erection. It's like I keep replaying that one night in my head when I couldn't get it up and now it's preventing me from getting it up at all. I'm just worried that the memory of me not getting it up with my first guy will now haunt me for the rest of my life. :icon_sad:

Sorry for the long winded post, but does anyone know of a way to overcome a problem like performance anxiety? I just am worried that from now on I will always be putting too much pressure on myself because I don't want to repeat the first two times this has happened, but if I do that then it'll just make the problem that much worse. :eusa_doh: