So, after searching for a therapist that fit a handful of criteria, I started therapy today after an absence of about 2.5 years. My last therapist, who was focused on "the here and now" and wasn't too interested in the past, said he couldn't do much for me. This guy is in his late 30s, is a licensed psychologist, is eclectic in his approach, was raised in a religion but is not particularly religious, and is willing to talk about my past in detail. I DO want to talk about the past. It has created the present. He seems like a studious, clean cut, analytical type and I think that might work. I've already scheduled subsequent appointments to have the slots lined up. I told him I've had both good and bad therapists, IMO, and that we have to work through a particularly rough one where I believe countertransference took place for over 2 years because I stepped on this one therapist's toes who was in serial marriages with trophy wives, the first couple of which screwed him over. I made my comments prior to knowing about his dysfunction in this area. He left me with quite a few caustic remarks. At any rate, the first session dealt with preliminaries and some introduction to the basic gist of things that bother me. Let's see how things unfold. Sometimes, just being in therapy makes me feel depressed. I've always been so independent and self-sufficient that, while I can talk about things, I'd rather just go on flying solo without a crutch. Wish me luck.
This is so true. I never thought my past affected me so much until I started going to therapy. People have a tendency to suppress problems, instead of dealing with them and moving forward. That's what a therapist is there for I guess, to help us open those mental doors we left locked and guarded for so long. Your therapy is giving you the tools you need so you are better equipped to deal with problems on your own. Therapists can see things about ourselves that we often overlook. Be proud that you are making steps to improve your life, dealing with this stuff takes a lot of courage.
Therapy can make you feel crappy sometimes but it's ultimately one of the best and bravest things someone can do for themselves. Good for you and I hope it goes well!