Internalized homophobia has affected my work and social life and makes me not enjoy the guy i love deep down and care for. im 22 and out as bi to a few friends but being in the public eye makes me think alot and not enjoy the company of my man
The people you see day to day while out in public really don't mean much, especially when it comes to your relationship with another person. Who cares what those people might think? 99% of them you'll never see or interact with again. You don't need to show any display of affection for your significant other while out somewhere if it makes you, him, or both of you uncomfortable, but I wouldn't let complete strangers come in the way of it. You are who you are and you can feel bad/hate it, but nothing is going to change you. What do you have the most trouble with? Judgement from others?
I still suffer from internalized homophobia, although I am in a loving relationship with a woman who has never dealt with it before. She's always fully accepted who she is, which is wonderful. However, it took years for me to fully accept being gay, especially being openly gay. My girlfriend knows how I feel and she's such a sweetheart because she's been very patient with me. I have worked up the courage to hold her hand, kiss and hug her in public and it doesn't bother me. But I will admit that I wonder what people think of me. I know that I should not care, but I care just a tiny bit. Almost to the point where I've avoided going out with her because my anxiety tends to get the best of me. However, because I love her so much, I am willing to let my guard down. I feel so lucky to have found love and yes, I don't mind showing it every once in a while. And I think you should do the same because the more you do it, the more comfortable you become with who you are. It's going to take some time, so take baby steps if necessary, good luck!
Lance it mostly happens when im in the public eye... eg work! I feel like im being watched all the time and I do feel guilty at times. When I think alot about me and my partner during this period of working I feel anxious and pushes me way from him! As I know now I am experiencing this...when I feel like this I can push it way the bad feelings and say to myself its only bout you and him! When I feel its only me and him its great and it should be like that all the time but dealing with it is hard! Any tips on how to help it? Pinklov thats nice to hear its tough and I came onto this to talk to ppl who had it and would like to keep chatting to yous both!
i think half the battle is recognising internalized homophobia when it happens ... and then taking steps to help not let it rule your life.. it stinks maybe you can both work on it together?
