I live sorta two faced. At school i keep up the happy/crazy/sex joke telling atmosphere around, but at home and in private, i hate life. Some days it's really really really hard to put on a smile. Like today. I strongly believe that if i went to a doctor, i'd be diagnosed with depression. Which scares me a little. I don't like the idea of pills, or even being told i fall in the category of depression. That quite ironically, makes me even sadder. I think the only reason i'm still around is because of my girlfriend. This whole thread it making me sad. I had a breakdown about 20 minutes ago to my mother. And she just told me to put one foot in front of the other. I don't think i can get help until i'm out on my own. Happy Halloween.
*hug* maybe a therapist would help you? They only talk with you and don't prescribe pills. Maybe there is one at your school?
depressed people are very skilled at "appearing OK".. like you are at school ... on the outside and suffering in silence internally keep going a day at a time, but put in place a longer term plan to deal with these issues. I think a therapist would be excellent for you if it can be afforded. Would your parents understand and pay? If not, your school will have a counsellor I hope - and that would be free and confidential. another plan might be to involve your doctor. Although you do not like the idea of meds, some short term help might be useful?
I just feel really stuck. My school no longer has a counselor for these type of things. There is a behavioral specialist, but i'm not acting up in class (I'm liked by a lot of my teachers) so there's no reason for it. My mother has offered counselling but I don't know how my father would take it. I don't think he'd take it well. I don't want to commit suicide. I also don't wanna wake up. If that makes any sense. I don't know if my parents can afford me seeing a therapist. I don't think they can. Which is the main reason I don't take my mother up on the offer. I don't want to be a burden.
If your mother is offering to take you to a therapist, I would go for it. I would hope that you father would come around eventually. You need to take care of you and it sounds like that this could be the best option to make you whole again. You don't want to go on like this. It's important that you take care of yourself anyway you can. I've been feeling the same way and I've been to a therapist for 2 weeks now it has help me get out of the "funk" that I've been in. Are all my problems solved? No, but it feels good to have them out in the open to somebody who doesn't judge me.
Yes even if it is a short period of therapy (at $50-80 ?? each ) it would be worth it. And if money is a problem, some therapists may offer special rates or be negotiable. Another thing is to maybe let a close trusted friend in to your private world - as a problem shared is a problem halved??
It definitely makes sense - I know that feeling all too well. While long-term therapy may be out of the question, a therapist could give you some coping tips and skills and may be able to help you a bit on a first visit. Your doctor could give you referrals and such, but doctors tend to love the prescription pads...definitely do some research before completely saying no to medication (if your doctor thinks it is necessary), but it is certainly your right to refuse antidepressants. I would definitely not keep what you're going through inside, though.
Exactly how I feel right now. I totally get what you're going through, it's something I've been dealing with for the past few years and I know that it's rough The whole thing about feeling like you're hiding it, I totally know what you mean there. One thing thats always helped me a lot is expressing myself through the arts... I write poetry or music just to get my emotions out when I'm depressed... Maybe that might help you? Hope you're feeling better soon (*hug*)
I have told just now (about 45 minutes ago) told my mother that i am interested in her offer. She believes our insurance will cover it. She plans to bring it up to my father this weekend while they are away. The only "coping" mechanism i have is drawing. Normally the result of being unable to sleep so I binge draw in one setting. (like tonight) I don't really understand therapy. How hard will it be to find an LGBTQ friendly one?
hey, that's good news. Well done for broaching the subject with your mother. therapy can work in many ways. At the very least it draws out some inner thoughts that you have inside.. understand your conflicts, and you can begin to see things in true perspective and do some some life planning / make some decisions finding an LGBT friendly one should be easy enough. Most therapists have websites, or they are on a collective website where you can see a picture of them, read their CVs and read what their specialities are There are also different types of therapy to think about.
What I've found with talking with a therapist is that it gets all my thoughts that are scrambled in my head out. There is something about just saying what I'm feeling out loud to another person that is very helpful. Like I said earlier I've had 2 sessions already and it has been great for me just to unload everything. I did a search on Google and I found several in my area.
when i wasn't to depressed i could cover it up, but when my depressioned deepend i would find myself out of the loop in conversations and at work, entirely disinterested in everyone and everything, thinkin of other shit, usually lyrics these days, i dont know where id be if i couldnt write lyrics
I recently got counseling and I'm not gonna lie, for a few days when my mum had been told about my "issues" it was awful and horribly awkward, but after that I went to counseling every week and still am. It helps to get things out in the open, and most therapists will be LGBTQ friendly because they have to be open minded and non-judgmental as part of what they do. Maybe you should consider art therapy if you can, since you like to draw? I hope things start to look up for you
I know exactly how you feel. I'm the exact same way, sex jokes and all. Once at lunch it slipped. I mentioned my self harm (I was self harming) and guess what? Not only did the principal hear, but my favourite teacher did, too! I'm in counselling now, and I must say that it's scary to be stuck inside that box, but when you're outside looking in, the fresh air is nice. Get help, love, you'll get better! I promise!
Update: My father is going to be checking with Human Resources to see how much is covered. I guess i sorta hope it's an option. Even though i'm pretty scared.
