So you know, meeting guys online having (unprotected) sex which was stupid of me now I'm paranoid. (3 times) 1 I topped, 2 bottomed. I know HIV can be spread by you being a top but I'm more concerned about one of the times I bottomed....
If you're 17 in California, my understanding is that you can go seek std/sti testing on your own (and if you've been having unprotected anal sex, then you should probably receive general testing, not just for HIV). Look up your local Public Health Clinic online and give them a call to make sure before you go in - there's no insurance information needed, and in some cases it's even possible to find free testing at public clinics.
HIV can be spread by the sharing of bodily fluids. Period. It doesn't favor the top or bottom. Though the risk is low, you can get HIV from oral as well. Even KISSING presents an extremely, extremely low infection probability. Getting hit by lightening is rare, but it happens. Please protect yourself. Perhaps when you go to the clinic and get checked out, they can give you an STI primer.
At the risk of splitting hairs, as far as I know, there is no evidence of HIV ever being transmitted by kissing. While virus could theoretically exist in saliva, it is not considered risky. Also, bottoming is considered higher risk than topping, though both carry substantial risk. The underlying message is correct: there's never, ever a valid reason not to play safe, and if you ever run into someone who wants to hookup to have unsafe sex "just this once" or "because I trust you" or "because it feels more intimate"... RUN. That's someone who always barebacks, and that's someone who either is, or will be, infected with HIV and other STIs through their irresponsibility.
You're probably correct about saliva not carrying the virus. What CAN happen though is if you bit your lip, cut yourself on a tortilla chip, have gum disease with raw or bleeding gums, or even just a canker sore, the virus has both a way out and a way in through the mouth. You don't have to be spitting blood to have a tear in the lining of your mouth.
