Hi All! I am a 25 year old gay male from a conservative society in India. I am currently doing my masters in the US. Lately i get the feeling that i am hyper-sexualized. I would like to think that this has to do with my strange childhood experience. During ages of 7-10, I had gay sexual encounters with a friend of same age (porn was the likely trigger). Back then I had absolutely no idea that i was destroying my childhood innocence. We continued to make love probably because we liked it. This went on until my family moved to a different place. So over the years I grew up with insecurity and severe lack of confidence. And also discovered that i was only attracted to men. Now i have confused life with confused life goals and social anxiety. I know for certain that puberty set in early for me and have always had sexual frustration which i would vent out through masturbation. Now I have this fetish for cute teenage guys. Although i haven't had gay sex as an adult, i have had sex dream fantasies and so on. So I do feel overtly sexual. How should i deal with this? Thanks in advance
This does sound like it was from your childhood experiences. I do realize that this isn't the best advice. But it might help if you go to a therapist or a doctor specialized in stuff like this. They would help you. They will also keep all of what you have posted here confidential. I hope this does help you. (*hug*)
Hi freeskies, Even before porn was so freely available, 7-10 year olds used to mess about I am sure. So do not feel too bad that your innocence was so destroyed. The main thing now ... is to focus on the present and future and what you want from it !
I am not sure if can go to a therapist since i cant afford to. But I can try to move ahead Thanks all for your response!
If you're a student, do you have access to counseling services? Many schools offer counseling to students.
I believe the university's counselling is a paid service which comes out cheap for students with university health insurance. Unfortunately I have not taken the university health insurance. With my insurance its still pretty expensive. The thing is I was brought up in a society that considers counselling for the mind to be something that is required only when a person goes literally bonkers! So i'm always half minded about approaching a counselor.