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Therapy and Masturbation

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Robben, Nov 11, 2013.

  1. Robben

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    Hello,

    When the bottom fell out and I knew I was gay, I asked an older woman whom I was involved with to be my therapist, to stop the madness of staying in the closet and living a life of deceit. My therapist refers to me as her gay son, her wife, and her daughter. She has breast fed me which ignited an inscrutable obsession to be a woman, who is her lesbian. As I have had to say my final goodbye's to my real Mother who lives in a nursing home. I think to myself is it possible to come through one Oedipal cycle and weaned, only to find myself to be a gay male figure to a woman whom I fantasize about her being my next Mother, with whom I am also a Lesbian.:icon_bigg

    There is no question that I still feel a homosexual attachment to my therapist as her gay son, with whom we both sleep with other men. Yet I can't help feeling that this hetero overtone may betray some sacred bond.

    I fantasize about her frequently, be it a minage a trois setting with other men, her breast feeding me, my being her lesbian, or my being penetrated in her bedroom.

    She has been my only lasting attachment. I feel I have to come out from this relationship when I feel it is more than I can handle, and that it may be healthier for to be homosexual from a distance.
     
  2. LD579

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    Is there a question implied in these posts? How old are you?

    A patient-therapist relationship with sexual overtones is not healthy at all. I can only hope it was not official therapy. Were that to be the case, then she should be reported and stop therapy, with harsher action to be taken, I'm sure.
     
  3. apostrophied

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    Uhh, wtf? =/ I have no idea what you are talking about, but none of what you write sounds even remotely normal, let alone healthy. Based on the title of your post, this sounds like you could be writing some kind of fantasy story, but I'm not sure this is the right place to share it. On the other hand, your sentences do not make logical sense, which makes me wonder and worry if everything is okay with you.

    Honestly, your post leaves me very confused.
     
  4. Foxface

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    I'm having a hard time figuring out if this is honest. If it is, this is an extremely unhealthy relationship and dangerous to your own emotional self. Analysts consider a mild sexual tone to be rather normal in a therapist-patient relationship due to the intense trust that overlies the bond. It isn't abnormal per se and I have been on the receiving end of unwanted sexual advance by a client but it is to be examined consciously

    If what you are saying is true, she is violating several ethical and legal procedures. I am not judging you whatsoever but she needs to be removed from a therapuetic setting if this is her methods

    Foxface
     
  5. Chip

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    I'm with Foxface. Assuming you aren't trolling, this phrase

    pretty much says it all. Foxface is right, she should have her license revoked, and what she's doing for you is not even remotely helpful; on the contrary, it's causing you severe confusion and emotional harm.

    If you would like help in making a formal report to the licensing authority in your state, please let us know and we can point you in the right direction to do so.
     
  6. Robben

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    When I went to rehab there were very few people I could turn to. I turned to the women whom I had been in a relationship with, and asked her if I could trust her with the understanding that I am gay. She said she always knew, and I was the one who asked her to be my therapists, after our separation had been final. I had been in Freudian therapy for a long time, until that Doctor wanted to destroy my life. My friendship with my therapist has been instrumental in my personality change. and issues affecting my sexuality with other men.
     
  7. LD579

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    I'll lay it out for you in bold and clear words: the patient-therapist relationship is decidedly distinct from any kind of familial relationship (Parent-child, any sibling relationship, and so on), any marital relationship, and any reasonable, balanced, healthy friendship. She's not being an effective therapist for you if you two are having sex and being something other than just patient and therapist.

    I advise you to cut off therapy with this person immediately and to pursue other avenues, even if it may be difficult to find a suitable therapist.
     
  8. Chip

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    The point here is, a competent and ethical therapist would never have accepted a client that s/he had been in a relationship with. Even if the separation is final, written ethical standards of the profession prohibit a therapist from providing services to a former partner or spouse. There's simply no possible way this can be healthy for you.

    Additionally, it sounds like your previous therapist was equally unprofessional. Both, if they behaved as you described, should not be in practice and should be severely disciplined and suspended by their professional licensing board.

    Of all places, rehab should be where you can find someone qualified, and with clear boundaries, to be able to help you. Anyone who you've been in a relationship is not qualified, and clearly this woman has terrible boundaries.

    As others have said, this relationship (both therapeutic and personal) should be terminated immediately. It is horribly, horribly unhealthy for you.
     
  9. apostrophied

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    Robben, your posts don't make much sense to me as an objective outsider and your thoughts are more incoherent than not. Please try to seek some outside help, and definitely not from that "therapist." If whatever you say happened with this woman actually happened, I think she's more likely to destroy your life than any Freudian therapist ever could. =/
     
  10. Foxface

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    Obviously I don't know you and never will and that's fine but as a therapist myself I will say if I knew who this was I would have no problem turning her in to the ACA or APA (depending on who she reported to

    It is unethical, dangerous and terribly bad for both parties involved to enter into the therapeutic bond following a familial or romantic/sexual relationship. Period

    I don't make a lot of bold statements as I am a pretty open guy to a lot of therapeutic practices but she is very much in the wrong. I beg you to find someone else or report her to her governing branch (again could be ACA or APA)

    These boundaries are set for a reason. Again I agree a little romantic feeling towards a therapist is normal. We are people you grow to trust and that sometimes leads to extra feelings. But these can be explored in a healthy manner and any therapist who is competent would pull the plug immediately or have a serious discussion with their client if these feelings were in danger of becoming acted on.

    I am sorry to be so bold, but neither of these people you met were therapists. One was a boundary-less predator and the other is as you said destroying lives.

    These boundaries have a purpose as archaic as they may sound to some. It's equivalent to me trying to do therapy on my wife. It's too personal a relationship. There MUST be some professional distance in order to see the forest for the trees so to speak

    Foxface