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I think I have depression...

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Sitri, Dec 5, 2013.

  1. Sitri

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    This is hard for me to admit, but I think it's true. I've posted anonymously a few times, and often times the response "you are showing signs of severe depression, please go see a professional". I spend a good eighty percent of my time feeling upset, and have for a while. I just feel so... useless and worthless, like a burden. Often times I wish I were... not here. I don't know where, just not here. Everything seems surreal, as if there was some sort of haze clouding my vision, nothing is clear. Everything just seems so wrong! I feel guilt, so much guilt, and I blame everything on myself. Worst of all, sometimes, in the mornings, I lean over the balcony and look down and imagine what would happen if I leaned just a little further... I just want to sleep.
     
  2. Techno Kid

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    That sounds like depression to me. (*hug*)

    I'll be seeing someone for mine on Monday actually (it's free through my college). You might not be so fortunate to have that.
     
  3. gravechild

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    It's depression. You might not want to get help, but if you're not able to manage living with it alone, it'll only get worse, not better, as time goes on. The actual depressive episodes might not last forever, but you'll quickly relapse and find yourself going in-and-out of cycles lasting months, or even years.

    I suppose a decent place to start would be recognizing when the actual symptoms started, and how they're affecting your life now, before setting an appointment and getting therapy? For some of us, it's more than just reacting to a life situation: we have a lower threshold, and have to fight it continually, so that's something important to figure out, too.
     
  4. SemiCharmedLife

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    Glad to see you've come to this realization. Because once you figure out what's wrong, you can start to make it better. I would encourage you to talk to your parents about seeing a therapist, but if you're not comfortable with that, you can try talking to a counselor at school.

    And we're here for you if you need extra support along the way. (*hug*)
     
  5. blueberrymuffin

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    Everyone's telling you to get help. That at leaves give you the possibility of getting better. Trying to deal with depression alone though is doomed to fail.
     
  6. gayphdstudent

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    Hey there, alot of us have experienced or are experiencing depression. Its a terrible feeling and its so good that you have been able to be open about it. Its important to discuss how you feel and work through possible causes, reasons etc. However, eating healthy foods, doing some exercise and also making time to do the things you do or used to love doing...even simple things like just sitting back with a cup of hot chocolate or watching your favourite movie again. Once you are ready to let the warmth and light come into your life more...it will :slight_smile:
     
  7. photoguy93

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    That's what it sounds like. A lot of people (and a lot of us here) have dealt with it. Depression isn't something you just look at and know it's there, like strep or the flu.

    So, please go seek help and talk to someone you trust.
     
  8. Rainbow Panda

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    I've been in quite a few depressions and, appart from the ones caused by me being bipolar, they have occured when I have found myself stuck in some sort of a pattern or if there has been a lack of something.
    It is important that you find the source, some depressions can be treated by yourself. If you are stuck in some sort of a vicious circle it is important that you get out of it by changing something in your life, or going away somewhere for a few days if you can.
    If you feel like something is missing in your life it might not always be so easy as the thing you are missing in your life might be out of your hands.

    I highly recommend mirror therapy. Basically its just talking to yourself in the mirror. You can use it to find the root of the problem. It can also help making yourself feel better and more energized if you look yourself in the eye and compliment yourself every morning but you have to mean it. It is like giving yourself therapy in a way, and who knows you better than you.

    I realize that might might sound a bit silly, but I just thought I'd share it in case you could use it for something. It really works if you do it every day.
     
  9. Minnie

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    I've spent months like this, causing me a lot of distress. You should talk to somebody about it. Take care.
     
  10. Z3ni

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    Yeah.. you have depression, I know how you feel, you should reach out to someone.
     
  11. Cuisle

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    Hi Sitri, I'm Cuisle. I'm very new to these boards but I'm quite familiar with depression, particularly as you describe it here. First off, well done on putting yourself out there and being honest about how you are feeling. It is a very daunting task, even in a warm, supportive environment such as this.

    I'm wary to give any advice as I think every person's depression is different, but as someone who has been exactly where you are right now (very recently too), I'd encourage you to seek out professional help. I fought it for ten years, afraid to put a name on how I was feeling. I was afraid of what it meant to be "Depressed." I pushed it aside, blamed myself for being an awful person, insisted if I tried harder at everything I would be fine. But I wasn't and eventually I had to face the truth that I was desperately depressed. But there was power in that act. If I could name what was wrong with me, I could fight it. That made all the difference to my recovery. I sought out a therapist. It took me three goes to find someone I could click with and that relationship changed my life.

    All I can say is that you don't have to feel this way. You don't have to carry these oppressive and intrusive thoughts around with you. Depression never truly goes away but it can absolutely be managed. I have never taken any medication but I did a lot of work in therapy and it paid off. I haven't gone in months because I haven't needed to. That darkness that I was carrying around lifted, the numbness slipped away and I felt like a person again. When I crossed bridges I no longer thought of jumping in, holding a knife in my hand no longer made me think of my wrists. Therapy showed me there is a better way to live. But when I do feel the need I will go again because I understand that Depression is just something that happens to me, but it also something I can now deal with.

    I know words are so puny at this point, but I sincerely hope that you feel better or find a road to "better" for yourself. I wouldn't wish that hopelessness on anyone.
     
  12. Pete1970

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    about 2 years ago i had really bad depression, i physically couldnt eat for about a month and i was miserable all the time to the point where i would just come home from work and sit in my chair and not talk to anyone. After about a month i decided to join a gym just toget out of the rut. It worked for a while (and i actually lost about 60 pounds) for the most part. I still felt miserable but not as bad. So about 2 months ago, i started feeling depressed so i decided to see a therapist becuase i didnt want to go through that again. Since then and since i started coming out, the depression has pretty much gone away, now its just anxiety about the future. I guess my point is you should probably go see someone. If you cant or dont want to, at least try to change your routine like joining a gym or really anything that will occupy your time and change your mindset to feel better about yourself
     
  13. musicrebel

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    It's nice that you are able to recognize that you are depressed. You then can go and get some help. We all here have your back and will 100% support you no matter what. Depression is tough shit--I've been dealing with it for four years. If you want to seek help, I recommend looking at a therapist to talk to because it's really nice talking and venting to someone who doesn't really know you outside of therapy + it's nice getting advice and treatment. You want to find a therapist who fits your style, otherwise you're not going to benefit from them. They can also recommend you psychiatrists and whatnot.

    You are worth it :slight_smile: It's hard believing that, but in the end, it's true. I believe in you.
     
  14. Make me a girl

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    Depression is hard to deal with because it's circular, you get depressed because you feel worthless, you can't really do anything because you're so depressed, and so you feel more worthless, and so on, the way I deal with mine is keep busy, keeping busy is the most important thing, even if you're not doing anything constructive, just make sure you're occupying yourself, goals are good too, set yourself goals, it doesn't matter if they're big ones or little ones, they give you something to work towards.
     
  15. Sitri

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    Well, my mother is going to try and set up an appointment with a psychiatrist.
     
  16. SemiCharmedLife

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    Good to hear. Hope it goes well (*hug*)