Hello, For the past few years, I have become curious about experimenting with the same sex. I have only been with women. I haven't done anything until because it's not easy to meet gay people, I don't want to go to gay clubs/bars because I am sure I would not feel comfortable, also I would not want to be seen as that would cause unnecessary trouble and I am not even sure if I will like it or not, so better avoid doing that. Because of this, last year I decided to create a profile in a dating site (MH). I used the account when I was vacationing in a city that is the summer spot for the high class in south america (not trying to brag) and look for people of my country to make sure that at least, they would not be robbers. I got many messages, more than 500 but I chose to meet with one guy. We met one night and we talked for a while, then I left, he was going back to the country I live in the next day so we never got to meet again. Through the year, we have been chatting but we never met. He is almost 10 years older than me but he is polite, good looking and successful. Now that summer has arrived again, he told me he will be in that city we met the first time. I was wondering if it is a good idea to go forward with him. I know that having sex for the first time with someone you met online is not ideal, but I also know that I won't be able to meet someone in my situation in real life. I am not desperate, I am happy like I am now but I feel like I should at least try it and decide. What do you say? Anyone with similar experiences can give me some advice? Thanks!
Well first of all, I know exactly the fear that you are talking about, and i know how awful that feels, so lets just be clear that this is coming from a place of empathy, not sympathy. I would encourage you to look at your masturbation habits. When you create erotic fantasies do you see other men? When you watch porn is it gay? Is it straight, but you tend to look at the guy more? Do you get off faster when watching gay porn verses straight porn? Those are all pretty clear indicators that dont require you to have sex with random men. I personally wouldn't recommend hookups until you are really in the right mental space. Which you essentially are saying you are not in. I know that doesnt really make things easier, but I hope it helps clear things up a little bit for you . Sending light and love.
