time for new therapist?

Wow, her son's scout party? Really?! Couldn't his father have taken him? Or a babysitter? Or another kid's mom? Whatever, lame reason.

Appointment, can't really judge. If it was the hairdresser, lame. If it was a heart doctor, probably justified. She should be more careful in her scheduling, though.

Meeting? Who's she meeting with, the Queen? Again, doesn't sound like a particularly good excuse, and she should plan better, anyway.

Find someone else, I say.

 

Yep, I agree with the others it's definitely time for a new therapist.

I've had to stop seeing therapists in the past for various reasons, and I've been seeing my current one for nearly two years. I've only been canceled on a few times, and two of those were weather related and everything in the region was shutting down early. Another was an unforeseen emergency.

My advice is definitely to find a new therapist.

 

I see a therapist.

It is very hard to find the right one from you, from experience.

I've finally found one that I like, and am open with, and she is nice to me.

My therapist's policy is that she only cancels if she is throwing-up sick, has a life-threatening family emergency, or is brought into court in regards to a client.

Not all are like this.

I'd say find a new one. Mine is amazing! I get weekly appointments, recurring... and we do goal setting.

Find someone that is right for you.

 

Find a new therapist. Now.

 

I hope she didn't charge you full price for the session she cut short. She sounds unreliable, I'd look for a new therapist.

 

In that case, maybe you could try to stick it out. I'm not saying that what she does is right, but if you feel it doesn't affect your therapeutic relationship and you are willing to put up with the bother, it might be easier than to look for a new one...

You're the only one who can really decide this, though.

 

You said this a few times. How do you think she views you? I'm not try to play devil's advocate. Well, maybe I am. Sometimes, questions are hard.

You are male and presumably dealing with issues surrounding sexuality and marriage. Is this her niche or a big part of her practice? Can she empathize with you? Do you feel pretty good and certain about that?

There could be various things. She might feel stuck with you and your situation, while another therapist could push further. She might have problems of her own. Therapists do as well. Your rapport could have changed, unbeknownst to you.

I take this type of service so much more seriously and cautiously than I do picking a doctor. I go to the doctor 3x a year for 15 minutes and sit in the lab so they can draw blood each time. If I'm not digging my doctor, I can get over it. Not so much with a person to whom I'm baring my soul.

If this persists, get a new therapist. How did you find her? What has been the nature of the issues discussed? Have you seen subtle changes in her from when you began?

I had a horrible 3 sessions with a therapist in grad school. Countertransference? Hello! She no longer does that type of work. I don't think she does anything. I had another horrible therapist, who was male, who I thought I liked and liked me. Countertransference? I can see now that there was when I construct the jigsaw puzzle. I just got used to going to see him and didn't know when to break it off. A move is what broke the bond. I am trying again, and have been seeing a therapist for about 2 months now. Before we get into an area that might set off countertransference, I politely query him on his personal situation to the extent that it's ok to do so to see if I would be rattling any cages and causing the therapist-client rapport to go south.

 

Extremely unprofessional, seek someone else. My therapist (who I never told about my true feelings but she knew... anyways) said only go to someone you feel comfortable with, I hope you trust me. Wish I went that next step. She was great.

 

Understood. Going through that filter is tough --- meeting area of expertise, geography, and insurance. I had to go through that. Also, as we move into the next year, will your insurance work the same for that therapist? For my therapist, it will. For my physician, a change might be required.

Let us know how the next session goes and if she can keep appointments after that.

I didn't want to come across as if prying. It's just that they have the purview to read us, but sometimes they don't want to be read or understood to see if it's a good pairing, or we see things much later.

 

Well, that's good, and it sounds like she is keeping her next appointment. It could have been a blip.