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Confusion

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Daydream Harp, Jan 6, 2014.

  1. Daydream Harp

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    Okay, sorry in advance if I offend anyone here with any of this, this is not meant to be discriminating towards anyone in any way and I am terribly sorry if anything comes off that way.

    Okay, so:

    I am feeling really confused about my sexuality as of lately. I use to label myself as bi with my preference fading back and forth between months, yet lately I feel I have been nearly only attracted to guys for a long period of time. I broke up with my BF back in December, so might it possibly be related to that?

    But then it seems it's not only guys, it's feminine guys, okay I am down with that, I have always been more drawn to guys who aren't afraid to express their feminine side. But THEN suddenly I feel mostly attracted to guys I know are gay, and here is where I am getting really confused. As a woman in the wrong body I know I could never be with a 100% gay man for their sake, so why am I suddenly so attracted to gay guys?

    My mom kept telling me I was "gay and confused" when I tried to tell her I was Trans long ago when I tried to tell her, and that thought have been in my head and made me worried about everything related to this to some degree. Could she be right? But then again I really do feel like a girl on the inside, and even if I have a thing for anal sex I fantasize just as much about vaginal sex, so it seems unlikely in that respect, but still...

    Gah so confused... could anybody see if any of this makes sense to them, and if so can help me figure out what is really going on here?
     
  2. BookDragon

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    So this is one of those times when we go against one of the things we usually say to people. So when questioning your gender, we usually say that it isn't related to sexuality. Which is true, but it is linked, which I think COULD be a part (but probably not all) of your problem here.

    At the moment you are sort of all over the place in terms of gender, and when you start to think about relationships it gets confusing. On the one hand you're a girl, on the other hand you have a guys body. It makes it difficult to imagine a normal physical relationship because you currently don't know where you fit. You can't say you're a gay or straight man, because you're a girl inside. You probably wouldn't say you were a gay or straight girl because you have a guys body still and as far as I can recall are still living as a guy. So imagining either form of relationship is going to cause problems in your head form the start!

    As for your attractions, unless you suddenly become attracted to a man you know is gay, or lose attraction when you find out they are straight, then you are being attracted to a certain way of presenting. As you called it, the 'femenine side'. Now as a girl stuck in a guys body, the femenine side is part of you that wants to come out, and we all look for something of ourselves in other people. So it could be that you are seeing these people who act in a femenine way, like you want to, and you like that. You might find that as you become more solid in your gender and how you want to progress with it, things change or become clearer!
     
  3. Daydream Harp

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    Well before I used to lose a bit of interest in someone if I knew they were 100% gay, probably my body saying "you can't have him so best to dampen those feelings a bit eh?", but now it seems to only make me more attracted to someone, so that is really confusing me.
     
  4. Daydream Harp

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    Though thinking about it, the sudden added attraction have mostly been with crossdressers around my age... could that be some sort of key in this puzzle?
     
  5. BookDragon

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    So when you said 'expressing their femenine side' you meant literally dressing as girls?
     
  6. Daydream Harp

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    Yeah I guess so, and having naturally girly hair too