Like many here I am new to all of this. I am wondering how did you feel mentally after the first time you were with somebody of the same sex. I pretty much know who I am and accept that. I am just curious how everybody felt after their first time.
To be honest I mostly felt confused and excited. I've only ever been with one guy and it wasn't a serious thing. Just on and off for fun because we were basically experimenting. I'm sure everyone experiences it different, but as I said, confused and excited. Mostly because it was new to me and I wasn't sure about it in the first place. I'm bi and not gay, but I definitely enjoyed it.
'Well, that was interesting.' and then I went on with my day. It was early in the AM, so I needed to get breakfast and get to classes and probably had to work that day. Neither my first time nor figuring out I was gay really hit me as any sort of major emotional event or anything. It was just sort of something that happened and then I went on with my life. Todd
I felt great. It felt right to me and I felt like I was walking on air. Then I went to bed. Got up the next day and still felt fantastic.
Distraught, even though being with a guy felt so right I had so much internalized homophobia that I immediately wanted to deny that I had ever done it. It lead to alot of arguing with myself because it felt sooo right yet I felt ashamed for doing it. 5 years later here I am killing a couple hours waiting to meet a guy for breakfast and it almost feels normal (I'm getting there)
Bifurcated. I would say there were two "first times." The "first" first time was with a guy I'd grown up with who didn't go there until we got to high school. Fortunately, we were then going to different high schools. It was fine. Not so much guilt or ruminating over it, except for strategizing how NOT to get caught. The "second" first time was more jarring. The friend described above got around. I didn't. One day, when the weather was warm during senior year of high school, we decided to bolt from school after lunch. We wound up going to a guy's apartment who he knew and worked a graveyard shift. He was in his 30s, tall, lanky, somewhat hairy, and had the look of a young Abe Lincoln, though not quite like that. I knew sex was coming down the pike. It did. The sex was better than what I had experienced prior. I went off to college and thought about it ... and thought about it. Needless to say, when I see a guy with the lanky Abe Lincoln look with a laptop in a coffee place and who has slightly moppy dark hair, a dark t-shirt, and some hair showing on his upper arms as well, I think that this person must be highly sexed and easy. That's either Pavlovian, or bad boundaries on my part.
The first time with another guy was pretty big for me. It was the first time I'd ever done anything sexual with anyone and it was with the guy I was in love with (well still am to this day, he's my boyfriend now!) but it also threw everything upside down for me because before I fell for him I'd thought I was straight. When I realized I was in love with him, I was like "but that doesn't matter because it won't lead anywhere so I can just stop thinking about it" and then tried to ignore it. After my first time, I couldn't ignore that I probably wasn't straight anymore and that made me freak out. Now, some six months later I'm still coming to terms with who I really am (and I still have no idea and it's still freaking me out).
I guess you could describe it as the feeling right after you tried out an awesome new roller-coaster. Not necessarily a life-defining or redefining moment, but totally awesome and leaving me wondering "so, when can we do that again?" Though by the time I got to it, I had already been out for years, and my boyfriend and I had been talking about it for months (yes, we're very methodical like that ) So we knew what we were doing and why we were doing it. That made it just about having fun, not about figuring ourselves out or anything. However, right after, I did jokingly affirm "Yup! we're definitely gay!" He replied he was glad to have cleared that up for me
What's really interesting is all lesbian/bisexual women I have spoken with have described their first time with a woman in a similar way.
Mixed feelings. On one side it felt awesome, exciting and satisfying because I had thought about it so many times and had finally done it. On the other side it felt a bit "wrong" because I barely knew the guy and he was so much older.
i think i mmight be the weirdo ha. i felt so dirty. i showered and showered but nothing would stop me feeling dirty. it felt right at the time and i knew it was who i was i just felt so dirty. took a while for me to accept it. accepting your sexuality and accepting yourself when youre intimate for me was two different things, i accepted one but not the other. haha. totally fine with both now though.
I was excited for mine! I idealized it too much, and I STILL haven't "finished" while being with him. My first time was fun, and whatever, but it also kinda sucked. Kinda still pissed about it. :/ lol what can you do
Honestly...I felt great for about 5 minutes. It was like everything made sense. I was also confused because I couldnt remember how we went from kissing on the couch to in bed, but eh.. The I got super depressed when I realized I "sinned" but before reality came crashing down, it was wonderful!
Initially euphoric, as everything made sense. Then I freaked out a bit, as it was just so overwhelming I had engaged myself more fully than I had ever done so with another person.
I love this thread. My first time was...meh. I think I was too nervous. The second time though. Whoa. You know how people describe feeling sparks? Well that's how it was for me. I had never felt that before with a girl, and even just kissing this guy made my head spin. It was pretty amazing. :icon_bigg
