Hey, well I'm new here and I'm really stressed out about a bunch of things right now and I just want to hurt myself. I've gotten into a lot of trouble with self-harm, I actually just got off of a suspension from school for bringing razor blades, and I've lost pretty much any trust from anyone. People want me to stop, and I push people away with it and it causes a ton of problems but it makes me feel better. I don't feel anywhere near ready to give it up, but I can't do it without getting in trouble. I don't know what to do. I can't think of anything. Okay so I really didn't know where to post this and it just sounds really stupid I'm sorry.
I cut. I have to hide it, but it happens. We all have our bad days right? But I've really cut down on how much I do it by getting a really good hobby. I draw. Some people keep journals. Write poems. A good hobby can really take the sting out. That's what's been helping me. I don't see red much often anymore.
Don't be sorry for anything, you're just looking for support and have come to the right place. As someone who still has problems with self harm, I can relate. I never cut, but scratch my arms until they're red and burn. Last time I did it was a week ago, during a nervous breakdown. It was the worst it had ever been, and I had to hide my entire arm until it all finally healed on Tuesday. Normally the marks would heal overnight. The best advice I can give is to try and put that energy into something different. Personally, if I feel the need to self harm, I try writing something instead. It might be a short scene, a mindless rant; either way, I just distract myself. It's easier said than done, but the result is better than having to deal with the pain it causes. Your friends are only trying to help you, because they don't want to see you in pain. I'm sorry if this advice was terrible, I'm still trying to figure it all out. Either way, you're not alone. If you ever need to talk to somebody, feel free to message me. I'll try and help as much as I can.(*hug*)
What I've usually been advised to do to control self-harm impulses is to engage in a healthy painful behavior. Some people like to wear a rubber band around their wrist and snap it, I like to hold ice cubes in my hands, and I've seen a suggestion of biting into chili peppers, but I've not tried that. Ideally you want to divert the urge before it happens, and you can do that with grounding.
Be at peace with you "as is" and a LOT of the self-harm can lose it's power. And- it's a case of processing all your loose ends. I'm a hell of a lot older than you and I still wake up middle of the night with doubts. POUR them into a DIARY!! so you can own them and process them..it's worked for me..
