1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Need advice, getting panic attacks during sex?

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by extremecases, Feb 5, 2014.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. extremecases

    extremecases
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2014
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    My girlfriend and I have a good long lasting relationship. A few rocky hings have happened but we came out of it in a healthy way. Our sex life is generally good, but for the past 2 months or so I have had no confidence, feeling like I can't please her, and getting so discouraged that I want to stop and just cry. But it has spiraled way out of control and I can't even start to have sex without completely panicking. When she's not here (we don't live together) I want to, and when shes with me I want to, but when we actually start too I start crying and panic so badly I have to stop. It's really embarrassing:icon_redf.

    She's being very understanding but I really need to get over it... I don't know if it's just an incredibility severe confidence issue or if it's something else.

    We've tried new things, and are very open about sex and have introduced new things (positions, toys, e.t.c) but nothing is changing anything. I find her very, very attractive and am in no way bored of her, and I love her very much. I am not feeling resentment for her over anything... I just can't put my finger on it! We are both in our early 20's and this is neither of our first lesbian relationship as we have both been dating girls since we were 13-14.

    This is getting really frustrating and even though she is supportive I feel like I am disappointing her, and this all happened so suddenly I don't know how to fix it!


    Can anyone offer me their point of view or advice? Maybe you've been through something similar? I've tried looking for a similar story to mine but I can't find anything. :icon_sad:

    Thank you so much
     
    #1 extremecases, Feb 5, 2014
  2. katwat

    katwat
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2014
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    the middle of no-where, Missouri
    It is not the same thing at all but led to the same kind of frustrations and anxiety that you are going through. My husband and I had a spell (for way too long) several years ago where one of us would initiate but in a subtle manner and when the other person did not immediately respond would assume the other person was rejecting intimacy. The person who initiated would get hurt feelings but not aways say anything. Then the hurt feelings led to lessened confidence and also a build up of resentment. When the other person might initiate things the person with the hurt feelings might, out of having felt rejected, reject that person. We were all kinds of messed up for a while. It took a lot of patience and a lot of talking for us to figure out what the hell was wrong but we finally got our heads straightened out.

    Again, I know it is not the same thing at all but I just wanted to let you know that other people get messed up sometimes and it can get worked out. I really hope things get better for you soon.
     
    #2 katwat, Feb 5, 2014
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)