Lesbian views on virginity

I'm not a woman, but I find the concept of virginity to be, like you said, an outdated concept. The thinking that something is "lost" when someone chooses to be sexual with another person is backwards.

 

Whenever I hear the word 'virginity' I first think of extra virgin olive oil, since I like to cook.
As to it pertaining to sex, I don't really get it at all. Like Skov said, you're not losing anything.

 

Ive only ever "had sex" by myself using a vibrator, does that make me a virgin or not? More importantly does it matter?

 

Um...I think people can lose their virginity. Its when you have your first sexual experience with another person. I dont think it matters, but yeah it happens.
I had sex with my partner at 22 and that was when I lost my virginity. Didn't matter whether my hymen was popped or not. it was my first sexual experience.

 

To be honest the word has lost all meaning...

At this point in time it almost wouldn't matter what I did with anyone, a lot of people would still say I'm a virgin. I won't penetrate another girl, I just won't, and I keep hearing the words "anal virginity" which is apparently a whole NEW thing...it seems some people don't think it counts if it didn't use a primary sex organ.

 

For me it's when another woman eats out another woman or fingers another woman
I always wanted to lose my virginity to another woman and when I heard some one say it did not count even though at the time I was identifying as straight it made me sad .
I never wanted my first time to be with a guy . I think the concept of virginity with the whole only a man can take it away is stupid .
When I was a little girl I was very sexual at a young age with other girls and they rubbed my kitty and I rubbed theirs and we kissed and stuff and dry humped , we never ate each other out or fingered each other because we didn't know we could do that at the time .but if we did we probably would have tried it . But my question is am I not a virgin anymore because I did sexual stuff with other girls in the past ?
I feel bad about my past a little because I was pretty sexual with few of my female friends .

 

I totally agree with this. My first sexual experience was a learning experience, and not a loss at all.

 

Anything involving consenting adults who are butt-naked (or at least partically naked) and touching eachother in a sexual way is sex to me.

 

I'm still a virgin, but I'd like to offer my input on the subject. I was raised in the church, and willingly (with only slight force) attended 5 "purity" lectures between the ages of 11-14, along with my pastor emitting continuos damnations of sexual thoughts/actions outside of marriage. It was shoved down my throat that virginity was a prize, and once a woman lost hers, she could never get it back. Once at one of the "purity" lectures, a skit was performed in which a girl started out with a rapped "gift" and each guy came and took a piece of her "gift" she could never get back, and at the end she was ripped and broken, and only god could save her. This mentality haunted me for a while, and ocassionally still does. I have found some moral peace in accepting the truth that I am not broken, do not need fixing, and deserve love. I am still extremely prude due to my upbringing and perfectionism and self-will, but I know that my fist time will be with a girl, and that I will not want it to be a one-night stand. Although I understand that virginity is insignificant, I am not fond of risks and heart-break, so I see myself waiting until I am in a committed relationship with a woman. Virignity is not a bad thing, as having sex when you are not ready is unacceptable, but that does not make it a good thing either. It is only a concept. Interpret its significance how you wish.

 

I agree with you I want to be in a committed relationship with a woman as well when I start having sex with other women .

 

I really don't like the "virginity" concept. But then again, you already know that haha

 

When u O with another girl... If u like penetration, then after that... Her fingers inside of your vagina...

 

I don't know why, but I don't think virginity cannot be lost unless you have straight penetrative sex. Guess I'm gonna be a virgin forever haha.

 

Well, queer relationships kinda highlight how arbitrary of a standard "virginity" is, you know? While a lot of straight people are comfortable defining "sex" as only the act when a penis goes into a vagina, for couples that don't have that duality (or are maybe not comfortable using those parts), it doesn't really make sense as a definition.

And even for straight people, does a penis in a butt "count" as sex? What if the girl gets off? What about oral, fingering, etc? What about if you use toys? Etc.

Basically, my stance is this: if you are touching another person intimately enough that you think it counts as sex, it does. If for one person that means playing with their partner's nipples, and for another person it requires magical mind-blowing simultaneous orgasm, that's okay. We're all different people, and it's okay to have different personal definitions of what "sex" means to you. .

 

I'm a senior in high school and virginity is talked about everywhere. People are constantly trying to determine what "counts" as "losing it" and what doesn't because it has become such a huge thing that like you said is very limiting to the heterosexual cis-gendered community. Personally, I believe that the hymen-popping theory of virginity had a place back in ancient times solely paternity, but now it is not wide enough for modern culture. You should be able to define as your virginity and the weight that it has on you.