I have noticed lately during sex with my boyfriend that I will sometimes lose my erection. I'm never really sure why, because mentally I am turned on the whole time, and it's not like I ever have trouble keeping it up while I'm masturbating. However, after thinking more about why it's happening, I realized it seems to always happen whenever we are in a certain position during sex. I get hard pretty quickly during foreplay (kissing, feeling each other, grinding, etc) and when things get more intense I will lay on top of him and will continue to stay hard. But then after a while he likes to change positions, and he'll flip me over and lay on top of me instead. When he does this he tends to put all of his body weight on top of me which sometimes feels very uncomfortable for me. And this is the point during sex where I always seem to lose my boner, and then I start to panic and find it very difficult to get it back up. Is it normal for certain positions to cause you to lose an erection? I'm just trying to figure out why exactly I lose it during sex and there seems to be a relation to that certain position. ---------- Post added 17th Feb 2014 at 11:26 AM ---------- I also would like to point out that it seems to happen more often when we have sex with the lights on. I think part of this is because I have always had a lot of insecurities about my body and I almost get slightly embarrassed when I start taking my clothes off when it's bright in the room.
Not sure if you are one, but I hear it's pretty common and normal for bottoms. (sorry I don't really have a lot of knowledge on this topic )
I am mostly versatile but yeah, I will usually lose my erection when I bottom...even if there isn't penetration. Just the sensation of him rubbing up between my ass cheeks - as much I enjoy the feeling - is enough to make me go soft. It's very frustrating.
I think you should talk to your bf about this. I think if when he lays on top of you and feel discomfort is part of the reason you're going soft. That, and if you're feeling self consious, that can play a part as well.
Maybe you should ask your boyfriend to try positions YOU like, not just agree to do ones he likes. I don't know if it would help you, but my partner is the bottom of our relationship, and he loves dirty talk. And I love it when he tells me what to do, what position he wants, how he wants it, etc. You might as well enjoy it, too!
I did mention it to my bf and he said from now on he will be more conscious of it. I have topped him before and have been able to stay hard and he does seem to enjoy it, but he has always told me he much prefers to top. I guess my real question here is whether or not it's normal to lose an erection when your partner is on top of you. Not necessarily penetrating you, just physically laying on top of you during sex
I would say it's normal to lose your erection if you're feeling discomfort and/or self-conscious. In your particular case this means when your BF is laying on top of you a certain way and/or the lights are on bright. Just find other ways to be close to each other and make the atmosphere more relaxed (lying on your sides comes to mind as does investing in some candles or adjustable lighting or the like). Todd
