I have a "fetish" that I really hate... I can only finish during sex if I'm fantasizing about what I envision as the perfect vagina and its somewhat unrealistic looking and very idealized. It also involves just very idealized young girls in general but specifically focusing on the vagina. I really hate this because I'm a straight girl and I don't want to have to think about other girls when I'm having sex with my boyfriend. My boyfriend thinks it comes from insecurities about the way my vagina looks, since it isn't like what I think is the ideal at all. I just feel really guilty because I'm someone who believes that all bodies are beautiful but this fetish makes me feel like the biggest hypocrite I know I'm not gay, I've never been interested in sex with girls myself. My fantasies kind of revolve around the thought of men worshiping the perfect vagina and actually involve a man's pleasure and not the girls. I just feel very depressed about this and would appreciate any advice on how to move past it!
What exactly is it that you think makes a vagina ideal, though? Most people are insecure about their body in some way. And there's a lot of cultural pressure for women to feel insecure about their vaginas, because for some reason "virginal" is considered the ideal. I don't know if this is part of what's bothering you, but I've heard men say that they believe that once a woman has started having sex, the vagina will eventually become "used up" and "loose." Maybe that's part of why you're idealizing "young" girls? But those men are wrong, and not only because of the double standard that puts on women who have slept with people before (as opposed to men who are usually considered more desirable if they've been with a lot of people). Actually, the vagina is made up of a lot of muscles, so, even though it's designed to become wider while you're having sex (because of arousal; you couldn't have sex without this happening, or at least it would be difficult), you're actually toning those muscles; the more you have sex, the "tighter" you can expect to be. Maybe keeping that in mind would help?
Well this begs the question: What constitutes a perfect vagina? Now, this certainly isn't my area of expertise, but I'll do my best to put on my straight hat for a moment. A perfect vagina must be: -Tight -Nice Looking -Wet -Good tasting and smelling Tight? Pretty much standard, the easiest way you could get looser is through childbirth. Nice Looking? What even is that? By whose standards? Wet? If you like him and he like's you this is no problem. If it is, use some lube and it's solved. Good tasting? Personal preference, and if it is really bad I think there are products for that. Good smelling? Personal preference, and if it is really bad there are definitely products for that. Everyone has some sort of sexual quirk, this is yours. Good for you it's not a fetish, just an insecurity, and you can work through it. With fetishes, you're stuck with the hands you're dealt, whether that's feet or pedophilia. Conclusion: Your boyfriend is really happy to get any vagina, and he likely sees yours as perfect. He's getting tons of pleasure out of it, and so should you.
