Hi, first up, any admin can remove this post, i don't know if it's suited to this forum. so please delete it if it's inappropriate. I am seeking some help on bringing up and understanding bringing Toys into the bedroom more specially Strap-ons. Last night my girlfriend and I had a quick 5 second discussion about adding toys to our sex lives. But right now i feel inadequate, i feel like i'm not satisfying anymore, i feel like i'm boring my partner. Any advice would be fantastic. Thanks.
I'm not sure. Feeling like I can't satisfy her anymore. I guess i have taken as a little bit of an insult. But i'm happy to change things up which is why i'm looking for advice.
I'd be happy to help you with those feelings if you can answer some questions. What is your sex life usually like/what does she prefer to do, etc
Adding toys spices things up! It doesn't mean you're inadequate. My guy and I use toys just because it gives some more options to expand on sex. Such as using a toy for penetration while performing oral, for an example?
I agree with Theron...I'm wondering if you think the problem is you think toys stimulate hetero sex? They don't have to. I like using them (If I'm the pitcher) and I would never feel worried that my partner would prefer a man over me. Strap-on play can be really intimate because you can feel each other body to body, kiss, and do other things during. Also I think different women respond to different things...some women can only really enjoy penetration, and even happen to be lesbians. The difference is that they want a woman with a toy You can also use toys while doing the work yourself, by stimulating her manually or orally.
Toys are meant for play and by play I mean having fun! My girlfriend and I use them on occasion but we don't make them a part of every encounter. Be it a strap on (Okay, the dildo part. I haven't used the strap on yet but I do have one! It is going to take some practice cuz I'm not used to something dangling there), a small whip, vibrators, etc., we have fun. Mix up positions too. I'm not saying Kama Sutra or anything like that but use your imagination and see where it takes you.
Oh, splurge on a copy of the Kama Sutra. We have one! They have positions for beginners on up and it's great for experimenting as well. Different positions offer different benefits and maybe a certain benefit really gets you off. Ex.: I like positions that allow me to watch my partner's facial expressions.
I'm a girl that likes toys sometime and if I added toys it's usually to spice things up maybe she wants to be dominated by you or try new positions it's more like to spice things up not because your inadequate . although I've never had sex with another woman I like being dominated by other women . I have a dildo I just like how penetration feels , it has nothing to do with a guy . If I wanted guys and the same with your girlfriend I would be having sex with them and dating them .
Don't take it personally, dear. Toys are great. I mean my girlfriend is actually scared of oral sex. Everyone is different and you need to discuss with her what she sees in toys.
Strap on's play a large part in my girlfriend and I's sex life. Tbh the majority of our sex are those. She loves to be penetrated and i love watching her motions in the act. We still do more "traditional" methods but it's all about variety and what the both of you enjoy. I would recommend at least trying something new with toys for a bit to see. Just because she suggested it does not mean she finds you inadequate just that's she wants to try something new and different. Try some dildos and such first and if you get comfortable with that move on to strapons if one or both of you enjoy penetration. I know I don't.
I noticed the thread has been pretty dead for a while.. but I'm replying anyways (obviously lol) Don't think you are inadequate. It's okay to spice things up, it's part of keeping up a healthy sex life... but that doesn't been you need to go buy a strap on (by all means if you want to -do it but there are tons of other options out there if you don't) is she missing penetration or just wants to try new things? talk and find out what you both like.. try new positions.. even if they don't work as planned, just have fun with eachother.. Buy some massage oils, or candle wax.. put an ice cube in your mouth and drip cold water on her.. maybe you'll discover you both want to try something extreme and totally out of the box.. who knows?? its about having fun with eachother, exploring eachothers likes and dislikes. don't feel pressured into anything. you just need to have more than a 5 second conversation.
