feeling depressed after my first penetration with a guy.

So I'm addicted to porn and masturbation

I've never had sex before cos I'm insecure about my penis size after seeing all them huge ones. I have frottage and even had one the previous day. So i met this guy and he was sexy, skinny and beautiful, his dick was just a inch bigger than mine so I was comfortable. We smoked some weed and we were abit high. We started kissing and fondling.

It was weird, I wasn't getting fully hard. Entering him wasn't easy especially finding the 'hole'. I entered, it felt enclosed, nice but not all sexually stimulating as I expected. He came and I didn't want to cum. I just wasn't feeling like cumming. We cleaned up

He wasn't really prepared to talk about it just making mumblings to questions and finally said I was just being paranoid. I wish it were better. He's had sex before and I'm very sure he wasn't pleasured a bit. I think the porn and masturbation has really had a toll on me. Would I be easily aroused and be fully turgid when I stop the porn and masturbation? I'm feeling very down and depressed, I need your opinions , experience tips and advice.