so, I masturbate alot, and I cum really quickly, like, I was with my boyfriend yesterday and i literally came twice in the time it taken him to cum, It taken me about 3 minutes to cum twice while it taken him that long to cum once, he did cum inbwteen my 2 but the second was straight after him, so when it comes to foreplay after that I just don't last long at all. is there any way i can make myself last longer?
Wait I tot masturbation helps delay 'cumming'. Just concentrate on something less sexual. Like football or food etc it helps make you last abit longer just don't over think it less you loss the whole 'horniness'
Part of that is nervousness, and part probably does have to do with your masturbation habits. One of the best things you can do is take your masturbation practice and slow it down. Essentially it can become a mindfulness mediation where you are mindful of what each part of the experience feels like, slowing it down so you can experience each sensation individually. If you practice, your masturbation experience can pretty easily be 20 or 30 minutes, and you'll have a lot more control over when you orgasm and ejaculate (they aren't necessarily the same thing.) The idea of distracting yourself can work, but at the risk of what comes with distraction: a lack of focus on your partner. The mindfulness approach is helpful, but takes times to develop, so distraction can help in the meantime.
what do you mean by slowing down my masturbation practice? as in masturbate less? occasionally i'll do it a almost every day, and some days a few times in one day, Ican't say i liked the idea of distaction tbh, if im engaging in any sexual experience i want to be able to enjoy it to the fullest, the fact it feels so good just makes the idea of distracting myself less appealing
Think: This feels so good; I hope it never ends. But really; if you can cum twice while pleasing your partner enjoy it while you can.
I never understood how other "Males" could cum twice so soon. Always figured it was something wrong with me when i was a "Male". But when I was... distraction never worked for me... like thinking of dead kittens... yea that was a no lol. I don't know what it was I did, but it worked. It got very hard for me to climax after like age 22(maybe an effect of the Dysphoria on a subconscious level), to the point where I had to "Fake it"
Not masturbate less, masturbate more slowly. If you're like most guys, when you masturbate, the main thing on your mind is to get to the cumming part ASAP. You probably notice that it feels good to do it and that the feelings get better as you get closer, but those are just signposts on the way to the end goal of an orgasm. You may also want to get it done fast if you have concerns about someone walking in on you or the like, or if you did have such concerns when you were a kid living at home (sorry, didn't check your age before posting this). Anyway, the point is that you've basically conditioned yourself to cum as fast as you can and so don't have much practice at controlling (and enjoying) the process of 'getting there'. Which is where masturbating more slowly comes in. First off, put yourself in a situation where there is no hurry to get off and get it over with. Allow yourself at least an hour to do the deed. More if you can manage it. Second, put yourself in a position where you can relax and enjoy the process. This means lying down in bed or reclining back in a comfortable chair or couch (you may want to put down a towel for these as you may sweat a bit while this is going on). If in bed, you may want to lay flat or prop yourself up with pillows, whatever feels best for you. Third, use lube. There are lots of options from hand lotion to dedicated sex lubes, depending on your circumstances. Different things feel different so you may want to experiment a bit and see what you like best for this sort of thing. It's totally normal if you find you like different lubes for different experiences, both in terms of masturbation and sex with your BF. For extended masturbation sessions, there is a product called albolene that you can get at most pharmacies. It's a whipped mineral oil and is usually marketed as a makeup remover. It's not uber cheap but not all that expensive and a little bit goes a very long way. It's pretty much considered the standard in the edging community (meaning that subset of the male population that takes a particular interest in extending their masturbation sessions as long as possible - there are blogs and discussion forums on this among other things to be found online). WARNING: NEVER under ANY circumstances use something that is 'self heating' for a lube (Icy Hot, Tiger Balm, Vick Vapor Rub)! You will really REALLY regret it. Fourth, when you start, take it slow. Relax and focus on your body and how it's feeling. Maybe run your hands over your body and note how it feels. If touching some particular part (besides your penis) feels especially nice, feel free to do it more. As you get into the actual masturbation part don't stroke as fast as you usually do (maybe go a bit slower, maybe a lot slower, maybe vary between these - pay attention to the sensations you're getting and how they change as you progress and change things and you'll start to find what feels best for you). Maybe vary your grip, speed of your stroke, etc. The lube will make this easier. When you start to feel yourself getting close to cumming - stop stroking. Take your hand off your penis, lay back, take a deep breath and just relax for maybe 20 seconds or so. Now start up again, again stroking more slowly than you normally would as described above and start building up the sensations again until you feel you're getting close again - and stop again. Wash, rinse repeat as many times as you like until you can't take it anymore and then bring it on home. Once you've learned to both note how you're feeling when you're getting close and how to back off from it, you should be able to apply the same awareness and a variation on the techniques with your boyfriend (maybe engaging in cuddling with your BF for a bit while you cool down or doing stuff to him while he just lays back and enjoys). Some notes: a) Re the start/stop thing: You may find that there is an optimum number of these cycles that results in a much more intense orgasm when you finish vs what you normally experience when you just masturbate 'conventionally'. Above or below that number and your orgasm will feel good, but not be as intense as it is when you hit the 'sweet spot' of just the right number of cycles. Experiment a bit and you'll probably find the right number that works best for you. b) An alternative to the start/stop method is to take yourself to the point where you feel you are close to cumming and then adjusting your masturbation technique to kind of 'hover' there, just sort of enjoying the sensations of masturbation itself and the feeling of an impending orgasm for some amount of time until you finally decide to let yourself finish. If you find you like this sort of thing, it's possible (with some practice) to extend this sort of session out for hours if you want. c) Once you have enough awareness of yourself to control when you ejaculate, it's also an option to try applying the same thing to your BF, basically working to bring him close and back off some number of times or keep him on the edge for a bit before letting him finish. Done right, you can have him writhing, groaning, and literally begging you for release (if you're both into that sort of thing, of course). Hope this helps, Todd
All this is good... another note on the distraction, if that is what you decide to do, think about doing math problems. Seriously. Try doing 124+257 or 15x19 in your head next time and you should last longer.
thanks for your reply AKTodd, I'm going to take your advice and try slowing down when masturbating, I do just go as quickly as i can, I don't really take time to enjoy it, hopefully the lube, and what i've learnt reading your post can really help.
