Masturbation Help

Although you've realised that your body isn't right for you, there's no reason to dislike yourself! I have trans* friends who are the same, but they've come to realise that it's not their fault they feel like this and however much they change their appearance, style, and hormones, unless they get the operation they're stuck with the genitals they were born with. Despite this, you shouldn't have to go without pleasure and even if they are "wrong", they're still a part of you that needs love and attention
I hope you can accept yourself a little and come to love your body for what it is, even if it isn't how you'd like it to be. Best of luck x

 

Thinking about a girl you like helps anyone your crushing on at the moment ?

 

the girl I date in the past that was a trans woman would masturbate even though she had a penis but maybe it takes time getting use . that's one thing I didn't know . Do you see a therapist like a gender therapist ?

 

Oh l think after you accept yourself ,you will be able to masturbate

 

I can't remember the last time I really liked anyone.
Most people seem alien to me, or are taken and keen on monogamy (or far away)

the mere concept is strange to think about.

 

Sex change maybe?

 

It's a mental thing. Like you said "However, since coming out to myself and realizing that I'm female..." so there is the problem. You don't feel like you have the right body parts, so you're kind of rejecting your body. You want to, but you don't want to at the same time. When you'll accept your body the way it is, everything should come back to normal. You just need to feel comfortable with what you just realized. If you want a more "scientific" explanation, I would say that if you force yourself too much to think that you're a female, mentally and physically, your body will start producing more and more estrogens. Which will lead to (because you have a male body) erectile problems. I think it's exactly what's happening right now. So the solution would be to remind yourself that although you are a female mentally, you're still a male physically. And to simply embrace this, because it's perfectly fine! Absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I think you're lucky in a way to have a penis. I, like many other girls, wonder what it would be like to have one sometimes. Just for fun lol. Remember how tiny is the clitoris? Yeah, that's why I have these thoughts I guess haha.

What I mean is, accept and LOVE your body, it's the best thing you can do

I hope it helps you.

Joanie.

 

Being ftm... I should make the classic wanna trade joke xD Or perhaps a joke about how some people STILL don't believe women think about sex or want to masturbate as much as men! Anyway, I've never masturbated the 'normal' way, just dildos. I personally think that you are braver than me since you're confronting your body more directly! It sure is jarring when your brain tells you one thing and your body says another. I can't shower without feeling at least a bit sick. I hate taking my clothes off. You know how it goes.

I mentally dissociate and view masturbation as a scientific experiment. What helps me is to remember I am in control. After I build up I forget about it. When I'm done, I'm relaxed enough to deal with it. It's the before that is the worst. Masturbation is merely stimulation, it can't define your gender. You do this or that and it feels good. I'm not saying everyone has a duty to masturbate (strange world that would be!), I can respect people that don't want to. They better respect my choice as well. It's your body, and you aren't harming anyone. It's a much more difficult task to minimise body dysphoria.

If you're anxious, you'll have trouble getting off. That's a bitch. I f**king hate that and I empathise. I've got a libido that most people can't match. I still endure periods where I cannot deal with the reality of this body. To the point where I was suffering panic attacks when I showered. I didn't masturbate throughout december, jan, feb, and most of march. I didn't want to think of myself as a sexual person and I almost began hating the concept of sex. I also found it increasingly terrifying the more I distanced myself from masturbation. Possibly a spell of mild depression. I somehow converted energy and got tons of work done.

You don't have to consider your body male. Of course you gotta take that XY into account when you're dealing with health. However, it's a female body because it belongs to a female. Yeah, it's a tough idea to comprehend. Especially after society taught you otherwise. I implore you to give it a go though.

 

In a perfect world, we would have a detachable penis... Not a dildo. An actual penis... A vagina is just not the best organ in the world. I would trade all the orgasms in the world for not having irregular or regular periods. I would hand you my vagina in a velvet box. I don't feel like I am a woman and I feel my body betrays me. I feel like a man trapped in a woman's body, and while that makes me fabulous, I am a straight guy in girls body. I have gotten severe depression over this to the point of suicide twice. To this day I just do what Lawrence describes and disassociate. I just masturbate to help me fall asleep.

 

I have a method I tend to use that helps a bit, but I have absolutely no idea how to convey it in text. I am so sorry :icon_sad:

Excuse me, but... "their fault"? Please tell me you are not implying being Transgender is a "flaw you have to learn to live with"...

 

I'm pretty sure that she just meant that it isn't a person's fault if they were born in a body that doesn't fit them.

---------- Post added 14th Apr 2014 at 09:06 PM ----------

OP - I don't presume to understand how you're feeling as I've never experienced much bottom dysphoria. However, I will say this: male and female genitals are homologous. The penis and clitoris are homologous as are the scrotum and labia. Maybe stop thinking about your body being male-like and start thinking about how it's female-like. Maybe that would help?

 

I think you just need some time to fully accept things. When you masturbate, you should think about fantasies and only that, to stay in the mood. Yet, you're still thinking about how you perceive yourself at that exact moment. Which I understand of course, but one day when you'll be okay with things, you won't have those thoughts anymore. In the meantime, I would say try to focus on fantasies and think about the rest at any other more appropriate moment.

Joanie.

 

Yeah, It's uncomfortable to masturbate when you have the wrong parts. What might help is thinking of them being more female like.

For MTF's, I usually like to recommend either anal penetration, or stimulating the very tip of your penis since it pretty much works like a clitoris does.