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not hard enough

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by happydavid, Apr 13, 2014.

  1. happydavid

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    Hi I think this title speaks for itself. Is this normal for a man. I don't want to talk to a doctor or take meds.Has anybody got any ideas ? would it be ok just to bottom
     
  2. PatrickUK

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    Sure it would, if that's what you want? Could it be that the idea of topping doesn't have enough of an appeal to get you hard enough? Some people are just not that into it and much prefer bottoming. Maybe you need more time touching and exploring before getting down to it, to increase arousal?

    As long as you can get hard, it's unlikely to be a physical health issue that needs medical attention or intervention.

    Maybe you need to combine sex and chocolate :icon_wink:
     
  3. cava

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    It is possible that you just need more time to get aroused than you think you do. It also probably doesn't help that you're worrying about it. Give yourself time and relax. If you're still experiencing problems, talk to your doctor.
     
  4. happydavid

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    Maybe I'll see a doctor when I'm working so I can afford it instead of rely on the NHS
     
  5. doc

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    Hi, do you get hard at other times? Say when masturbating? Do you orgasm even when not fully hard? For me anxiety can stop me getting fully hard and I do still cum when semi hardsometimes. When I'm feeling better about myself or the relationship and take lots of time - then I get hard. Hope this helps.
     
  6. Damien

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    Hi David,

    just another suggestion, you may of course take it or leave it as you choose...:slight_smile: It has taken about a year of practice and effort (which was alot of fun in any case), but I have recently begun to be able, to draw the first appearance of orgasmic pleasure upwards into my body, instead of ejaculating. Before anyone gets too excited, the pleasure is about 5 - 10% as intense as ejaculatory orgasm (for now, anyway)...but this practice has some advantages. I have more energy, enhanced sexual pleasure and...better erections. I learned all this from Mantak Chia's books and videos. Yes it is possible to have awesome sexual experiences without passing a drop of semen. It takes practice but omfg it's been worth every bit.

    edit: I forgot to mention that it also enables one to just keep going, once one has drawn the energy up. So with this method, you end up having not just one big orgasm, but rather, many more gentle ones. But honestly I don't miss the big spend, at first I did but lately I feel more satisfaction with having much gentler orgasms, but multiple times.

    beefree.
     
    #6 Damien, Apr 18, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2014
  7. Damien

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    I tried to edit the above, but could not after 15 minutes...so I wanted to say, I'm not saying you have to learn the above practice, just that as it has been helpful to me, so I want to share it with others as well. It might be something you want to try, or not. But in any case, even if you don't want to give up the high-voltage blast of conventional, ejaculatory orgasm, I have also found that just taking a break from sex for a while (including self-pleasuring) can help one to get harder erections, too. Or maybe try coming once every other day, or once every three days...I have found that if I take a day or two off, when I come back I'm harder, even doing the stuff I'm doing, the body just needs a damn break sometimes. Hope that is helpful. :slight_smile:
     
    #7 Damien, Apr 18, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2014
  8. Theron

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    It's fine to bottom if that's what turns you on. My fiance can't top me (not that I want him to) because he goes soft just thinking about it. But the anticipation of being topped gets him hard and keeps him hard through our activities.

    I also really recommend exploring what turns you on in general. My things (fetishes?) are half-dressed sex and business suits, while my fiance gets off on being tied up and ordered around.
     
  9. thrnvlpidj

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    Would a cock ring be helpful?

    Is it waning interested in a boyfriend, anxiety with a casual encounter, started taking a new drug?

    If it's just about being a top, you may have to fumble around a bit before you're comfortable with it.
     
    #9 thrnvlpidj, Apr 18, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2014