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Awkward TMI question for the ladies

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by NicoletteChris, Apr 28, 2014.

  1. NicoletteChris

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    This might be an awkward tmi post but I guess it's been bugging me lately. I used to be able to have wonderful orgasms masturbating via penetration from a homemade sex toy I kept around but now I just can't. I don't feel a thing and it's been maybe two or more weeks like this. Since my loss of orgasm my libido has sorta gone down which sucks a lot. I still feel sexually attracted to girls and like their bodies more than guys but my sexual fantasies have just gotten less frequent like now when laying in bed instead of having a usual sex fantasy I only imagine cuddling with another girl which isn't bad but different for me. I've never had a full blown clitoral orgasm though and I've been trying to have one recently but I feel like I can't reach it properly.
    Sigh.
    Well this might sound dumb but does anyone have any uh tips or strategies they use to reach a full blown clitoral orgasm?

    Also another thing, so you know I am definitely sexually attracted to woman I love their bodies and I want to have sex and crave sex with woman but when I see a picture of a naked woman I don't get any like idk "wild" cravings like I can barely contain myself just a very pleasant happy feeling like " Oh wow I'd love to be in bed with her I can imagine it." Is this bad? Should I have some uncontrollable urge?
     
  2. Minnie

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    You have what you have. If your libido is low just now, don't worry about it - your body will know when to bring it back? If you're in your teens you can expect it to fluctuate; ditto with the menopause. There's likely also a degree of tolerance in that you've seen pics of naked girls before and had the "wooooooow that's haaaaaaaawt" thoughts/urges before, so now you're not as sexually excited by it. On that line, the fact you're seeing things in a more "pleasant" way as you describe it is you becoming more emotionally aware - after all, when you're in a relationship, it's more than just sex!

    So, the clitoral orgasm. If your toy doesn't have a vibrating feature already, get one, either in the form of a rabbit or bullet. The best ones are those that have multiple combinations - I find pulsations of different intensities the most orgasmic! I think also that if you use such a vibrator, the fact you're not controlling all the different pulse types sort of gets you thinking that something else is giving you pleasure.
    Don't look at porn or anything while masturbating and just use your imagination. Try and insert the shaft once your open but not when your clitoris gets too sensitive and you're about to semi-crappily-come too quickly (in case your not sure of the signs, you tend to feel quite hot around the neck and there's a bit of twitching, followed by disappointment).
    If you masturbate often, cut down. Maybe go for a week or two strictly without it - I did that a while back and God, did it feel good when I did it after all that time. I even swear it was deeper than when I normally do it.

    Methinks that's all the advise I can give atm, but I can tell you that I've you've never used a vibrator before, you're in for a treat! Seriously, if it is your first time using them then you should treat yourself to a rabbit vibrator. I don't know if you have Wowcher in the US but they often have vouchers for discounted rabbits.
     
  3. Good advice above ^

    Also, you might be psyching yourself out. It can be reeeeeally hard to orgasm when you're worried about doing so. So breathe deeply and try not to put too much pressure or expectation on yourself. The more chill you're feeling about it (like an "if it happens then great, but if not then that's okay" kind of stance) then the more likely you won't psych yourself right out of the mood.

    This happens to me when I'm stressed out about stuff. Could be that maybe?