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Do I have to worry because I have never masturbated?

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Despitelove, May 7, 2014.

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  1. Despitelove

    Despitelove
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    I'm 17 and I don't get why my mates are so into masturbation that they would spend all the day talking about it. I just don't feel the urge / need to masturbate....I have tried once but I didn't eiaculate nor did I reach the orgasm, so I gave it up. I'm worried because I think there may be something wrong with me, because everyone does it , except me. Is it related with a hormone deficiency? Being virgin, gay makes me feel really outcast and sick and alone. I mean, I would really like to have sex with a man, I constantly think about it in my dreams and in my fantasies (plus I'm passive, so I like to think that someone gives me his penis and I suck it), but I don't masturbate and I'm scared that when I have sex with someone (finally) I will not reach the orgasm. If I don't reach the orgasm with masturbation, how will I be able to reach it with sex?
     
    #1 Despitelove, May 7, 2014
  2. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    If you don't want to masturbate or you don't feel like masturbating, it's just not going to happen. You've got to want it and you're telling us that you just don't feel the urge or need. Maybe you find masturbation too functional? It could be that you will respond more positively during sex when you are aroused and stimulated by the experience. You should be able to achieve orgasm with a good, attentive sexual partner.
     
    #2 PatrickUK, May 7, 2014
  3. Chip

    Chip
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    There are certainly people who don't masturbate, and people who don't have strong sex drives. There's a tiny percentage of the population that simply has no sex drive at all. And there are also people whose sex drive doesn't really "wake up" until a bit later in life than you are now.

    I've known people who didn't really connect to their sexual drive until they were in a relationship.

    That said, there's a value to masturbating and experiencing orgasm prior to being in a relationship.

    With regard to masturbating... you describe thinking about sex with a man and having fantasies; do you have arousal and erections in doing so? In trying to masturbate, did you take time and do it in a non-rushed way? Some people can take a fairly long time (10-15 minutes, sometimes longer) to reach arousal to the point of orgasm and ejaculation, so it's possible you simply gave up.

    If you don't experience erections at all, then it would be worthwhile seeing your family doctor to discuss (as uncomfortable as that may be, it's nothing s/he hasn't talked about a bazillion times) and rule out any physiological problem.
     
    #3 Chip, May 7, 2014
  4. Brandiac

    Brandiac
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    It's not weird at all. I used to have phases where there was a gap of 2-3 weeks in between each occasion simply because I was too depressed I didn't think I deserved it, etc. Sometimes it gets old for a while and then it's suddenly "new" again. You should keep trying and looking for things that turn you on meanwhile. Maybe you were just disinterested that one time, it happens. Rarely I even stop mid-way through because I go "F this, I'm just lying to myself again anyway" but that's related to me pessimism.

    Bottom line: Don't stress yourself about this.
     
    #4 Brandiac, May 7, 2014
  5. Despitelove

    Despitelove
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    I managed to eiaculate 2 days ago. It was my first time ever. It is such a beautiful sensation to reach the orgasm. I think my problem is solved.
     
    #5 Despitelove, May 14, 2014
  6. GayNurse95

    GayNurse95
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    It takes practice, but if you don't feel an urge to begin with, your organs will look at you and be like "Boy, you be pushing yourself!" and they may give you a sassy look.
    Okay, that doesn't happen, but don't push yourself. If you don't have the drive for it, don't do it. I have to do it a lot myself because my drive is like a lioness. Basically, Don;t push it. And if you feel uncomfortable or strange about talking about it to your friends, speak up. Just tell them talking about it is weird and change the subject.
    Best to ya.
    And there's nothing wrong with you. When need arises, it takes practice to reach orgasm. Heck, I even have a hard tine reaching it. Keep practicing when the time is right and you'll get it.
     
    #6 GayNurse95, May 14, 2014
  7. Despitelove

    Despitelove
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    My sexual drive is particularly high, and I have finally been able to masturbate and reach the orgasm. Now I do it one/ two times a day. I'm so happy, because I know that I'm like everyone else and I haven't got any problems. Now masturbating is my daily thought.
     
    #7 Despitelove, May 14, 2014
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