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Masturbation Problems

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by theaterboy, May 14, 2014.

  1. theaterboy

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    So Im gonna start by saying I haven't done the aforementioned dead in six months. Whenever I do it I get this terrible sense of guilt and self loathing. I just wanted to know if this was at all normal or if there any tips so i can enjoy it without those feelings after...
     
  2. i think when its new to someone, then i think some people feel guilt... but i think it goes away with time. you dont have anything to feel guilty about at all!

    seen a few posts about this before with the way you feel, youre not alone!
     
  3. Chip

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    Guilt is pretty normal for some people. There's a physiological drop in the level of neurotransmitters associated with joy and contentment immediately after orgasm; from an evolutional perspective this was to ensure that people didn't just fuck all the time. :slight_smile:

    Societal and particularly religious shame can also really amplify the physiological feelings. So if you simply remind yourself that there's nothing wrong with masturbating, that it's a normal and healthy and beneficial thing, you'll be able to reset the wiring in a pretty short period of time.
     
  4. theaterboy

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    Thanks very much! I plan on trying later tonight! Any tips to make the experience more pleasurable, or last longer (I really have not done it in so long!)?
     
  5. BryanM

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    Edging is something that works for people (where you go almost until the point of climax, then stop, let yourself cool down, and go again, and repeat), and doing it for a little while helps your self control, stamina, and provides for a nice finish. It might also be helpful if you do it sometime when you know you won't be disturbed for a period of time. Remember, this is supposed to take time, not be a quick thing... Another good thing is to do it when you're home alone, so that you can also be vocal, which can help with some of the tension. Hope this helped. :slight_smile:

    One thing though, if you haven't done it for a few months, you may be really sensitive to touch down there when you start.
     
    #5 BryanM, May 14, 2014
    Last edited: May 14, 2014
  6. Brandiac

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    Have to fully agree with Bryan here, as a person who's recently come out (even if only to mom) I can say that once you find a way to break through the mental blocks keeping you from having a good time, it'll be completely the other way around. I even used to cry every time it was over thinking "Why am I trying to fool myself thinking I'll ever be loved?" And I hated myself for doing it. Sometimes weeks passed before I tried again, but without much enthusiasm to begin with. And then accepting myself and discussing it with mom was the breakthrough. So maybe you're just not fully accepting that you like guys. Just to reassure you, there's nothing wrong with it :slight_smile:
     
  7. theaterboy

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    Thanks for your input! I did it last night and I experienced little to none of the feelings I had before! Now some follow up questions: A few minutes after I came little drop or two of something came out... is this normal? Also what should I use for lube. Thanks again!
     
  8. Brandiac

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    Yeah that happens, some of it isn't ejected and remains in there. I usually need to wee afterwards anyway so it "cleans up" everything. But you can make sure, just try to squash it out like a sponge or something, starting at the base and working your way to the top so you can avoid getting a spot on your pants later. As for lube the other people around here will probably give you better advice than I ever could, so that's left for them :slight_smile:
     
  9. BMC77

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    I assume so. It happens to me.

    Basically you need something that is safe to use on sensitive skin for an extended period of time.

    One cheap, and easy solution: some sort of cooking oil (olive oil, canola oil, etc) from the kitchen. That was my favorite lube as a teenager. I kept a small supply in an old olive oil bottle in my nightstand drawer.

    However, one problem with cooking oil is that it can create a mess on sheets, etc. The oil should come out in the wash with care. You probably should have a good detergent. Water temperature needs to be a careful balance--too cold, and the oil might not get removed, but too hot and any semen stains will be set. Also note: if stains are not removed during the wash they will quite likely become permanent in the dryer.

    Also note: oil of ANY kind can dissolve latex. Thus oil should NEVER be used with regular condoms.

    I've also used baby oil. (The problems are the same as cooking oil.) These days, I feel more comfortable with a food based oil than a petroleum product, but that's just me. I've heard of guys using Vaseline petroleum jelly.

    I've also heard of guys using hand lotion, but that can soak in too fast, and need reapplication.

    Some guys use just spit, but that never worked for me.

    I don't think soap or shampoo is a good idea--too much risk of drying skin out.

    Finally, there are commercial products like K Y Jelly. But it's a bit embarrassing buying these, and really embarrassing if someone stumbles across K Y in your room. As one drug store clerk put it: "You don't buy Astroglide to squirt on the grass." :lol:
     
  10. theaterboy

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    Thanks BMC77! I think I'll try hand lotion! Besides edging (which I've heard is dangerous) are there any other ways to make more pleasurable/last longer?
     
  11. Lawrence

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    This is for stimulating the penis with your hands? The answer is Astroglide! Other than that you have ye olde Stroke 29 and Swiss Navy Cream.

    Edging isn't usually dangerous. I'm not dead. I accidentally discovered it because back then I was too ashamed to do much research. If you edge regularly; you might become accustomed to it, and then short masturbation durations only frustrate you. An hour or less would almost certainly be safe. Anything over 4 hours is madness. You do NOT want risk losing it after 3 or 4 hours.

    You want to try something else? Don't do it for a week or two. If you can handle that xD It might work if you have a busy schedule to keep you occupied.

    And K Y Jelly is for squeaky doors... if you've never heard of WD-40. And no, WD-40 isn't a lubricant... you don't wanna know what some fanfiction authors consider to be safe lubricant. Blood, sunblock, glue, cement, and even acid!
     
  12. BMC77

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    You're welcome!

    I haven't heard of any dangers with edging. The one problem I can think of that might occur is "blue balls." I've never had that problem, but from what I hear it's only pain, and that pain should go away when you do finally ejaculate.

    As for ideas, there is actually a full web site devoted to them: Jackinworld. It's all ages guy's masturbation information web site. It has a lot of ideas you can try.