1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Why am I infuriated by this?

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Brandiac, May 15, 2014.

  1. Brandiac

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2014
    Messages:
    462
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Central Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I could go ahead and post this anonymously but probably noone else has this sort of problem, so what's the point. So the problem is very simple. Whenever I happen to read about kids, (or really, people younger than 16) and them having sex and kissing and stuff, my face suddenly goes red, I feel the urge to punch something and I feel like I could explode with the force of a nuke, because I'm so angry. Then I usually start ranting to friends about it. :tantrum: I'm really not sure why this is, because I have no problem with people being younger than me.

    It probably has something to do with the fact that I grew up with no friends or mates in the last 10 years or so (because they all moved to somewhere else) and that I started having thoughts about being gay around 16. It's sort of being jealous but not really because at that age I wasn't cut to handle a relationship emotionally anyway. It feels like I've already wasted my entire life while other people are already f*cking. And then my ego tries to save me by telling me that "but I'm more mature and wiser". And then I feel like I'm a monster. And it takes me hours to forget about that feeling. So why is this happening to me? :icon_sad: I don't want to hate people and I'm almost doing that sometimes.
     
  2. Jim1454

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2007
    Messages:
    7,284
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Toronto
    I can understand you being angry. You maybe feel cheated because you aren't experiencing what you're seeing in others. You're expressing your jealousy or envy as anger. Maybe there's a bit of insecurity in there too...

    I think it's important to remind yourself that most people's lives ARE NOT like what you read about or see in the movies or on TV. I don't think that most people are having sex when they are 16. When we've had threads like that here, most people were much older when they had sex for the first time. I was 25! And was I angry about it? Ya. Not to the extent that I would punch things - but I think inside I was uncomfortable and felt like I was the 'odd man out' when it came to that.

    And maybe I was.

    But we're all different. And we all have a different path to walk in this life. If we were all the same in every respect, what fun would that be? If you're gay, you're likely to have a harder time finding someone to date - because the pool to draw from is significantly smaller than the pool of girls that you could date. You are only out to your mom - so that will hinder your ability to have a relationship with someone.

    But try to keep everything in perspective. You're still very young. You've got LOTS of years ahead of you for sex and intimacy with other people. Lots.
     
  3. Brandiac

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2014
    Messages:
    462
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Central Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Thank you! Your reply made all of this anger I had vanish for now, which is awesome! I just don't know how to deal with it in the long run. I suppose I'll avoid anything reminding me of this, but that doesn't guarantee anything. I don't want to develop pedophobia or something. (But at this rate that might be a possibility)

    Now that I'm thinking about it... maybe the fact that I have to remain in this status until I'm out of high school (because I won't give two shits about bigotry then anymore) and it's a year from now. But even after that, who knows how long it'll take to :tears:...meh I'm not even going to write that down.