So I called in sick this morning (Which i feel immensely guilty for, even though my manager was understanding) and managed to get a appointment to see my doctor mid-day today. Basically for the last 4/5 weeks I have been feeling constantly tired. No matter how much I've slept (have come home from work some days and just collapsed into bed and slept through til next day). I've barely been eating because I just don't have the appetite. I've stopped trying to do push ups because i definitely don't have the energy for that. I'm also terrified a little of myself because I keep entering a state of mind where I really don't care about anything. To the extent that my friends/family feel like they get no emotional response at all from me. I feel very much in 'limbo' because i go from spending my week at a flat i'm share with my ex-now-best friend-but its confusing/painful for me, and then most weekends at my parents current house. my parents have been trying with pronouns/names so its much easier to spend time there. At the end of this month my parents move into the new house and I'll eventually be moving in there as well. I want to move in asap. but I don't want to leave my room mate alone until September (when the flat tenancy ends, I'd still pay my share of rent btw). He's as prone to depression as I am and I can't help worrying about what'll happen if I go. Anyway, I have an appointment with my doctor mid-day today and am seriously considering whether or not I should ask for antidepressants. I was given anti-anxieties once and it did not end well at all (panic attacks). But I feel desperate. I've managed to not self-harm, but have caught myself doing it subconsciously at times. I don't plan suicide, but I certainly think about how much easier it would be to give up. Do you think I should try asking for tablets? I've done research and was thinking about asking for a mood stabiliser if i can get one. But I don't know if I could since that's more for bi-polar (I think) and I don't think I have that.
In all honesty, if you describe the symptoms, just as you've described them to us there is a good chance that he/she will suggest anti-depressants or some other medication, possibly in combination with counselling. I hope you have a good Doctor who will give you a little bit of time and space.
I think you should ask your doctor for help, he or she will be able to advice you on the best option available to you. Hang in there, things will get better!
Okay, that was ... interesting. Felt more like a Q&A session where the doc wanted to know more about trans people than my depression. But I now have medicine. (liquid antidepressant, who knew that existed?) Guess I'll just see what happens and if I feel a bit more able to cope in a few weeks.
The thing with depression is sometimes it can take multiple times to try to find the right medication for you. I started getting depressed in late 2012, and finally talked to my doctor about it. He had me basically do a questionaire about how I was feeling. I wasnt at all suicidal but I was getting close to my breaking point. We tried some meds and it just wasnt clicking after a few weeks I went back and he tried me on something else but after only a week on those I couldnt take it anymore and was admitted to a psch unit in the hospital. I stayed for three days just taking some time off from the world, trying to learn how to cope with depression and try some other new meds. I started going to outpatient therapy, saw a therapist and finally found the right combination of medicines. The road may be long but never give up. If something isnt working or doesnt feel right, go back and be honest about it. Im glad you are getting help. It may be tough at times but I know you can do it. Hang in there.(*hug*)
Speak to your doctor, and he/she will ask you to answer some questions, like how often do you feel tired, do you want to hurt yourself etc. (the exact questions are online look up PHQ test) The doc will then add this up and see what course of action they will recumbend, I had 3 red flags (for self harm & suicide, drinking and anxiety). Apparently I was close to the point where I would be deemed a danger to myself after admitting that I was stockpiling pills and well I wouldn't rather not think about what would happen if that did happen to me I don't know how they will treat you, probably get referred to a therapist and/or a psychiatric specialist (in my case to get me on medication) I was a bit reluctant to go onto meds, it took about a month with a psychiatrist to convince me that they will help me and it was a bit hit and miss, the first stuff they tried made me feel weird and worse, once they got the right meds things get better. Therapy and CBT helped me more than the meds though. They won't judge you and well my doctor was really awesome about the LGBT stuff so if you have a good doctor they will really want to help you. I remember my GP just wanted to give me a hug after I told her what I was feeling about myself.
