I hope this is the right forum. My life is kind of a mess. Last year I became really sick after being depressed for many years. I got psychotic and started hearing voices and became paranoid. I also know the cause: Sexuality. All the voices I heard were calling me 'faggot' and I had the feeling that everyone was thinking I'm gay. I started taking my first antipsychotic and I had severe side effects and couldn't take it. For months I was severely depressed, constantly saying to myself that I want to die, and I was psychotic. My life was in shambles. I didn't have any sexual experience whatsoever at that time (at the age of 24). Then I started taking some supplements and saw some improvement and later in 2014 I started taking a different antipsychotic that I could take without feeling like a lifeless zombie. And it worked. The voices were (almost) gone except in situations in which I was anxious. (Still sick but some improvement) At a party I got really drunk and started kissing girl (well, she started kissing me) and we went to my apartment. I couldn't get it up and instead started fingering her. The condom would have been too tight anyway (I now bought ones that fit me). That was my first sexual experience, but it kinda sucked. I couldn't orgasm because she didn't wanna blow me. We were very drunk, so it's understandable that it was a mess. I registered on ****** and started talking to someone. I didn't have a pic and started writing who didn't have a pic as well. He seemed nice when we started talking and I sent my pictures. I'm not really confident about my body because I'm overweight (I gained quite a bit due to the medication), but I'm now trying to lose weight (lost 4 lbs already). He asked me how long my dick was and sent pics as well. He's not really my type (his face), but I like his body. He wanted a pic of my dick and I sent it to him. We started chatting and he writes in a really sexual manner, which is unusual and sometimes uncomfortable for me ('You can dream of me cuddling naked with you' when I said good night). He's coming to me on Sunday and I'm kinda nervous that I mess up: What if I'm too fat for him after all? What if I don't like it and am not as gay as I thought? I wanna have sex and finally have a real sex life. I think I HAVE to take this opportunity to get more experience and to find out what I like. All of this is so new to me and I'm just not sure what I really want. Any thoughts?
I think this is the part where you went wrong... Hopefully this person is gonna be nice, but dealing with so much depression, I wouldn't think getting laid like that is the right answer. What if it's going to get you even more under the weather emotionally? I'm just hoping you won't be hurt in any way from this.
Yeah, I kinda regretted that. It's also something I would never do. I mean, other than that, he makes a nice impression. We talked about soccer and other stuff as well . I think I have to take risks. I'm not ready to go to a gay bar or anything and I finally want to gain some experience.
Hm, will I need a condom for oral sex? He wrote that he doesn't know whether he can come tomorrow. I am kinda looking forward to it, though. I'm excited to see how it goes.
I'm really confused now. When I wrote him, it sounded like he was up to having sex/bj. Now he suddenly says that he will give me a blowjob when our national soccer team wins, otherwise he won't. And when I asked if we could experiment (e.g. sex), he was suddenly like: "Sex right then?" I suspect that he is quite unsure about what he's doing. Or he's nervous. This boy confuses me (he's 21, I'm 3 years older). Now he apparently just wants to watch soccer despite having sexted up until this time. We wanna meet up on Tuesday. I really don't know what to think of this. I wrote him that we don't have to do anything since we don't know each other.
In my opinion, people that use these apps are usually on them for one reason: sex (not that there's anything wrong with that). I can almost guarantee he isn't confused/nervous. Nervous people don't ask for penis pictures. He seems very forward, so I would assume he knows what he wants. I'm not trying to totally discourage you from meeting him, but rather give you a different perspective. If you are fine having your first sexual experience with a guy being with someone that doesn't care about you and whom you most likely will never have anything serious with, then go for it (just be safe). There's nothing wrong with that, but a lot of times people aren't as fine with that as they think they are. If you want someone to care about you, I don't think you should meet him. If you do meet him: 1) Meet him in public first. People get catfished, and there are bad people out there. 2) Don't do anything you aren't comfortable doing. 3) Be safe Best of luck
i'm to scared to talk on a darn phone with the guy i like i feel so stupid i know i'm no help at all it's like when i text guys they only wanna sext i do give the type of pics they like some times i think does he even like me or does he just wanna talk about one thing i need a real man not these little boys
He also wrote: "We are just gonna watch the championship" I'm just somewhat confused. He seemed so straightforward at the beginning and now it seems like he's not prepared to do anything sexual? I was looking for someone to experiment with, actually I'll see him first since I will get him from the train station. I'll talk to him a little bit then. I don't think I'll fall for him or anything. I really just want to experiment with someone who's nice and 'alright'. I don't know if he is. If he doesn't show up on Tuesday, I'll have to look for someone else I guess :dry: I'm pretty sure that the pictures belong to him and not fake. I just don't know what he wants. ---------- Post added 15th Jun 2014 at 11:36 PM ---------- I just wrote him if he wants to skype with me. I have the feeling he's playing games -.- This is kinda annoying. Maybe I shouldn't have gone on ****** afterwards? But this is kind of the only chance currently for me to meet someone in a way that is anonymous.
i would ask for if he showed you who he was it's better to skype if he keep doing this if he keep refusing to he probably a fatfisher pics does not mean jack these days i know a girl that's a fatfisher it's sad but true
He said that he doesn't have a cam, but we talked on the phone two days ago. He talks about sex a lot and is very talkative in general. He pretty much says anything that comes to his mind. On the positive side, he's intelligent and seems alright. Despite him talking about sex quite a bit (he's very focused on sex) I felt comfortable talking to him after a while. We talked for over an hour. He said that his recent relationship was no good. His boyfriend was very possessive and didn't want him to meet friends etc. and he ended the relationship after a month and now he just wants to have fun. He couldn't come again on Tuesday so now we'll meet on Saturday.
Hm, I still don't know if I'm making a mistake :dry: I will talk to him on the phone again today, but I'm not sure about this. He's so upfront and that's not really what I'm looking for. Well, I'll meet him anyway on Saturday and see how I feel. If I don't feel comfortable, I'll just say it. I sometimes wish I wasn't looking for romance. That would make things easier :rolle:
Hi, It sounds like you've had a chance to get to know him a little, and it also sounds like he may be similarly inexperienced. Just be cautious -- I'd suggest meeting at a Starbucks or something before having him know where your house is, or going to his. And a lot depends on what you see coming out of this. Most likely, it's going to end up being a hookup of some sort, as it sounds like he's too nervous and/or unready to commit to anything. If you're OK with that, then no problem. And make sure you have condoms and lube around in case you do decide to go for anal. Finally, hookup apps, bars, and clubs, and even most dating sites are the worst places to look for relationships... people you find there are generally only interested in hookups and/or are incapable of sustaining a relationship. I suggest meeting people in more social settings... if your area has an LGBT center, that could be a good choice. Meetup.com in all but the tiniest areas has various meet-up groups for gay men, often hiking clubs, book clubs, social outings (movies, plays, etc), potlucks, board game nights, and the like. Those can be safe, non-threatening ways to meet new people where you're likely to find someone interested in more than just a quick hookup.
I was kinda wrong with him being nervous. He seems to be quite the opposite. He just doesn't have sex with anyone, but he gives blowjobs. He talks very much about his sex life and this seems to be far from his first hookup. I think he sleeps around a lot. He tries to 'arouse' me I think by using a pet name and other things. He's also had at least two boyfriends. But yeah, he doesn't seem to be a relationship person. I don't think I can get aroused when it's a stranger, but I don't know yet. Also, I'm always the one writing him what he's doing/to call etc. I think I need to stop that because I kinda feel pathetic doing that after a while. Who knows. Maybe he doesn't even show up tomorrow? I'm not out and kinda, well, too nervous to go to anything that's 'gay' I guess. Yeah, it looks like apps are not the best way to meet people with which you can actually bond.
You sound like you're really after sex in a relationship. And if you're thinking ahead, you're going to call this off and just not do it. Trust me it's going to destroy you emotionally, because let me tell you what's going to happen if you do it. You'll form a bond with him, and not just any bond, a one-sided bond. Then he's going to leave and never come back and you'll be thrown into depression, now THAT will be depression at its finest. You might be hurt so much that it'll make it difficult for you to find someone for a relationship afterwards. But it's your life, not mine. I'm just trying to assume based on what you've said and the way I see the perception of sex from someone like me, who's not into hookups (to put it lightly)
I talked to him again on the phone (around 90 minutes). I know I can't fall in love with him. That's impossible. He's just way too different. I wouldn't say I don't like him, but, well, he's too promiscuous. I don't wanna call it off because I think I can actually profit from this experience in some way even if I dislike it. Well, he again doesn't know if he can come tomorrow. He will write me if he can. He will meet a friend tomorrow. I think it's time to look for someone else no matter how this turns out. Someone on 'the app' who's quite attractive only looks for relationships, but I'm not that confident about my looks, I guess, and people usually don't reply (I write hi and send a face pic). I'm kinda tired of writing people on there. I wish nobody would care about sexual orientation and I would be more comfortable in my skin. Thanks for the replies btw
