Well as some of you know I'm not a virgin, and in the past I slept with a guy, it was mostly oral which was the rules we agreed on and no touching me. Then during he pulled down my underwear and fingered me without my permission, it was very painful and I begged him to stop but he did not , now I'm wondering if I was raped,
I don't know if I have any other way to say this, but I think you were. You said stop. He did not. I haven't been raped before, but I think you should tell someone you trust about this. Even if it happened a long time ago, rape is still rape. What he did was terrible. You deserve much better. I'm sorry. I hope you never have to go through it again. (*hug*)
The sad part about it is I didn't remember this til today , I blanked out during it and kind of put it at the back of my memory so I guess if it makes sense I had a memory black out and forgot being raped .:icon_sad:
I think that's natural. Why would you want to remember something terrible? What he did wasn't okay at all, and like happydavid said, if you need to talk about it to someone, do so. Sometime's things are better kept to yourself, but other times, if you talk to someone, it really does feel better. But, no pressure. I understand that it will be difficult to. (*hug*)
Rape is any sexual experience forced on someone unwilling, or even when someone has withdrawn previously given consent. So yes, I'm sorry to say it sounds like you were. I'm very very sorry you encountered that. Making yourself forget it is a natural reaction too a traumatic experience. I can't give you any advice other than you've already been given, talk to anyone you feel safe enough to (friend, family, police, counsellor) when you feel ready.
Thanks falling ---------- Post added 8th Jul 2014 at 02:56 PM ---------- I thought because I consented before it was not rape and that this is what happens to you I guess but that's what I've been taught that if you consent and the person does something you don't like it's your fault and you deserve it :icon_sad: I also like i said before blocked it out of my mind
Consent is revokable, i mean , "stop" is a pretty obvious vocal sign that you werent consenting, he had the chance to stop, but he didnt, what he did was wrong. It isnt your fault, he is the one who betrayed your trust :hug:
Yes, he did. It sounds like you then repressed it. I'm in a similar boat, I've been regaining memories of abuse from when I was younger that I just seemed to forget, but now know as repressed memories. I'm also here if you need or want to talk about it, or just want a friend. Unfortunately I have personal experience in this sort of thing, and my mother is a therapist who specialises in rape, so yeah, I'm rather knowledgeable. *hugs* good luck.
I am sorry to hear this happened but yes. If you said no then he responded by continuing, that is assault Repression is quite real as described by the analysts. I've worked with PTSD/ASD clients who have repressed and it's a long road. Take things slow and talk to someone if you feel the need
Yes that's the word I was looking for repressed memories I'll definitely chat with you guys thanks so much for being there(*hug*) ---------- Post added 8th Jul 2014 at 09:06 PM ---------- Thank you so much foxface (*hug*)
Hi stocking I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you. It might be a good idea to find a professional who counsels survivors of sexual assault, to talk to, as soon as you feel comfortable doing so. There are centers in most major cities you can go to where such a service is often free, afaik. It's inexcusable, what he did. As soon as you said 'no' he ought to have stopped right away, even if you had previously given consent, or even if he simply assumed you had, makes no difference. I have never understood how some guys can behave so despicably, it feels so awful even just hearing about it. Take extra good care of yourself now, and remember to seek out help (I mean, in real life, in your local area) if and/or when you need or want it. Damien. (&&&)
That's what happened to me a few weeks back... I met a guy off ****** who used a false identity and then he fingered me without consent when he had me laying down. It doesn't have to involve a penis to be rape. What happened is known as digital rape or using fingers/objects. It can still be as traumatic as penile rape so considering it's just resurfaced, now's probably the best time to address it. Can you see a counselor or call a rape crisis hotline in case you need it? I'm so sorry that happened to you. Believe me, I wish I could've cut his damn hand off for you. It wasn't consensual, you didn't ask for it, and it wasn't your fault.
I didn't meet this guy off the internet he was an acquaintance of mine , that's hurts and the same thing did happen to us
