who cares

First, I care. Does that mean that I'll jump in my car and be at your doorstep to give you a hug when you need it -- no. That's not the only kind of caring and that's not my style. What it means is that I would miss you if you were gone and I genuinely want your life to continue. It means I would cry for you if you were gone -- cry for the life that you could have continued in.

Second, the big thing with suicide is that if each person gets only one life to live (the Judao-Christo-Muslim model) then ending that life before God or nature says it's time would be wasting or forfeiting precious life. That, assuming you believe life to be inherently good and precious, would be an evil act. That's why not suicide and why it's such a "taboo".

Third, having been at one point suicidal myself and having come back from the brink of hell -- I can tell you that it's not a natural response to the human condition to abandon life entirely -- it's basically a self-preservation mechanism that gets quite twisted into a paradoxical solution by the person telling themselves lies about the outcome. Having also counselled someone away from slashing their wrists, I can tell you that there's nothing like helping someone through that to make you realize why you should live your life.

Fourth, as far as the gay community is concerned -- fuck 'em if they've abandoned you; however, pride in being gay is about breaking down the shame that many have felt over being gay. Telling the world we are all happy and "gay sunshine day" is a generalization and also a PR campaign. Human beings have problems, we struggle; life isn't easy but that doesn't mean we have to be mopey about our sexuality or about anything else if we choose to put on a good face. I'd like to ask that you not give up on the community yet -- just realize that your expectations of the community may not be in line with the what the community can do for you and see if you can reconcile these two things.

Know that you are loved because you are a person -- unique -- and that that will deepen and grow the more you are part of the community and the more that you make connections in this network. Our level of caring for you will intensify as you spend more time with the community.

Peace,

Derek J.

 

Hey Greg! We chatted just a few hours ago! And damn it anyway - I'd care!

Your kids would care! Your friends that you are staying with would care! Your co-workers would care! The people here that are all about helping each other through our own personal struggles would ALL CARE!

I know it's tough right now. I've been to the brink and back to! It can get better, and it will. You'd be amazed with how effective taking a little step forward can lift your spirits when you didn't think they could be lifted. Do something for you! And one of the most important things you can do right now is to spend time with people that care about you and try to see the world not from your vantage point but from theirs. There are lots of good things to look forward to and be thankful for if you just stop and look for them.

I wish I could do more.

Your friend, Jim.

 

I find it very offensive that you would dare to think that no one would care if someone killed themselves. I've tried so many times i can no longer count. I've been to the hospital, the whole experiance and i'm back from the dead feelings that i was stuck adn controled by. I'm better finally. But one thing i learned most of all through the whole horrifying experience is that people DO CARE!!!!!!! Family cares, friends you thought you didn't have cares, nieghbors care, family friends care, people you only know over the internet even care! I'm not sure that you are talking about yourself or just talking about people who are suicidal. But I just can't believe you would think that NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON would care about ONE person dying. THEY DO! How many times do i have to say it? I don't know how many times it would take me so i'll just keep saying it. Look just because you think that no one is jumping out of windows for you, doesn't mean that they wouldn't care. I met this dude online and we tlaked only for three days. when i told him that i was going to kill myself. he started cutting himself (he had that as a problem already but the fact that he did it cause of me was a shock). People would and are helping you the only way they can. Maybe you just aren't letting them! You can't be to self-centered either to think taht the whole world should sop just because you are in a mood. They'd care if you died alright, but you must remember that others have lives. They will help you when they need it, but not everyone is your 24 hour helpline! I found that out too, but i realised that everyone was already helping me as much as they can. I'm not going to rant at you anylonger but i just want you to understand that people are helping youy AND they do care!