Ok so here's the problem I was seeing a girl for a while a bit on the butch side. But as she knew I am NOT into butch girls so I called it off. She contacted me to say she wanted to change. With this in mind we started seeing each other with me offering help and advice on how to be a girly girl. To which just caused arguments that I was trying to change her or she needed more time. It's now been 6 months and there's no changes at all. Am I a bitch for saying to her I'm done with us because she can't change. Don't get me wrong I love her and all but I am shallow and I want a girl I can be proud of on my arm and someone who makes an effort when we go out. Not someone who lives in tshirt and jeans
It is advised in communications not to make reproaches but to express ones feelings and telling the consequences. Like you could say as described in your post what your feelings are, so she might think it over. You might beforehand think over what you really would like, which time frame you might accecpt, etc...
The problem here is with -you-, not her. Your love for her is conditional, so you should let her go and let her find someone who loves her for who she is. She shouldn't have to change and she probably just offered to because she didn't want to lose you. I feel sorry for her.
As a general rule, I've always heard that you should never date someone with the intent of "changing" them to be something you want. Along the same lines, you would not want someone to change you. Best thing is to find someone who more closely aligns with what you're looking for. People in a relationship should be loving and supportive and be there to provide encouragement or improvements in areas that are absolutely in need of change (i.e. unhealthy living, dangerous activity) and things that the person wants changed; but if someone doesn't want to change, it will be a recipe for a disastrous relationship. In addition, style of dress is highly subjective, so one might find someone really stylish while someone else may hate it...
Well, that's something I was thinking about, how much would I be able to change, I mean. I'm a person who doesn't shave their legs and tell you the truth my legs are hairy, even hairier than of an average guy, I think. I tried to shave them a few times in the past but it always felt weird and uncomfortable, like being naked and exposed or something. I'm not sure if I'd get used to it if I tried. I don't know how much of a deal breaker it could be but I can imagine many women not to like it. Ugh. What I wanted to say is that being a bit on the butch side it's who she is, it's how she feels comfortable, and wanting her to become a girly girl is making her to be someone who she's not and I don't think it's going to work.
I have felt like a tool for only liking feminine women, and this is why I wouldn't date a butch lesbian or bisexual woman Yes people butch women can be bisexual too
