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Please help (lesbian/HIV)

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by darkeyes, Jul 24, 2014.

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  1. darkeyes

    darkeyes
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    Hey! I'm new here and I have a question concerning my possible infection with HIV. About two months ago, I had sex with a woman I met online. Yes I know I was foolish I didn't know much about her. I gave her oral sex and we had genital contact too (by that I mean tribadism). Also toys were used.
    Then maybe a week later I found out that she is HIV positive!:-(
    I'm so terrified and afraid that she infected me:-( I know I should probably get tested but Im so afraid of the results that I dont have the courage to do it. Is there a chance that I´m infected with HIV?:-( Can it really be transmitted woman to woman?:-(
    So far I didn't have any symptoms whatsoever. Maybe just a sore throat accompanied with high fever that maybe lasted about a week or so but I think that was just a regular flu or something?

    please advise and thank you so much in advance.

    concerned and scared!
     
    #1 darkeyes, Jul 24, 2014
  2. bicomplicated

    bicomplicated
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    Getting tested is scary. I am not sure how hiv is transmitted. I know by blood... If any of your fluids mixed... idk? Seems hardly possible but idk. My best adivice is to talk to your doctor. And the scary part is this much I know that syptoms don't always show up right away. It could be years before symptoms show up.
     
    #2 bicomplicated, Jul 24, 2014
  3. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    Did you use condoms on your toys?
    I'd get tested to be safe
     
    #3 stocking, Jul 24, 2014
  4. darkeyes

    darkeyes
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    No we didn't use condoms I know Im such and idiot!!! Yeah I think our vaginal fluids were mixed but then again I dont know anything anymore. I have horrible nightmares dont know what to do. So scared of getting tested:-( I mean there wasnt any blood involved as far as I know, only vaginal fluids probably:-(
     
    #4 darkeyes, Jul 24, 2014
  5. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    Go get tested, even if you're scared you don't want to infect others and you also need to know for sure.
     
    #5 stocking, Jul 24, 2014
  6. darkeyes

    darkeyes
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    I know... Ill go and get tested even though Im terrified, of course the last thing I want is to infect others:-(
     
    #6 darkeyes, Jul 24, 2014
  7. Tetra

    Tetra
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    Definitely get tested right away! Hopefully it turns up negative, and you can stop worrying about it.
     
    #7 Tetra, Jul 24, 2014
  8. Black Raven

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    There is not one fucking thing in this world that will help you other than getting tested as soon as possible. Do it!

    You will never rest or sleep properly again until you know.
    You MIGHT be in luck. You need to find out if you're lucky or not.

    If you had the bravery to engage in unprotected sex with a stranger you met online, have the bravery to get tested as well!

    And if not for you, for all your future partners - They NEED to know!

    I apologise if this sounds harsh, but you don't have time to cry and procrastinate, you need to get TESTED. You can cry out of relief or shame and despair to cope AFTERWARDS.

    We're all here to comfort you whatever happens, but you need to do it!
     
    #8 Black Raven, Jul 24, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2014
  9. darkeyes

    darkeyes
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    Yes I know I am aware of the possible risk for my future partners so Ill go and get tested 100%. Its my fault and only mine for getting myself in this situation I have no one to blame but myself:-( wish I can turn back the time:-(

    ---------- Post added 24th Jul 2014 at 01:15 PM ----------
    Ill go first thing tomorrow morning thanks for good wishes
     
    #9 darkeyes, Jul 24, 2014
  10. greatwhale

    greatwhale
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    Hey darkeyes,

    First, I am glad to hear that you will take the steps you need to get yourself tested.

    Second, I presume you found out she is HIV+ because you contacted her after your encounter. Did you ask her if she is getting treated? If you didn't can you contact her to find out?

    In order to give you some peace of mind; female-to-female transmission of HIV is extremely rare. Quoting from this article:

     
    #10 greatwhale, Jul 24, 2014
  11. Cap’nSerious

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    Go get tested to be sure, it’s just a blood test
     
    #11 Cap’nSerious, Jul 24, 2014
  12. darkeyes

    darkeyes
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    Hey greatwhale, thanks for the encouragement I mean Ive heard that lesbian cases of HIV transmissions are really rare, but my fear is killing me and of course I will go and get tested for the sake of my future partners. What will be will be I guess..but Im still out of my mind with this.. Its making me mentally ill:-(
    The woman I had sex with sent me an email just a few days after our sex encounter . In her first email she just said that she is sorry! And when I replied why was she sorry she told me by email that she is HIV positive, but was afraid to tell me and that she didn't think that she could get me infected. I´m mad beyond words because she took all of this lightly. I dont know if she is getting treated cos she wont return my calls or my emails and when I went by her place one day her landlady told me she moved out! I ve been calling her on the phone for the last month or so but she wont answer me back. I'm bewildered cos she doesn't even care for herself let alone others! I am so frustrated and angry at her that I feel I'm gonna strangle her alive if I finally get a hold of her:-(
     
    #12 darkeyes, Jul 24, 2014
  13. Black Raven

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    I'm sure you're one of the lucky people.
    Here for you once you're back from the test. (&&&)
     
    #13 Black Raven, Jul 24, 2014
  14. darkeyes

    darkeyes
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    Thank you so much Black Raven I'm hoping I'm one of the lucky ones...
    omg if the test turns out negative I m gonna scream my lungs out..and never never never ever have stupid sex like this with someone I barely know..never again!
     
    #14 darkeyes, Jul 24, 2014
  15. asdfghjk

    asdfghjk Guest

    you can do it!!! get the test!!!! I believe in u, you are brave
     
    #15 asdfghjk, Jul 24, 2014
  16. Moonhammer

    Moonhammer
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    You could prosecute her if you find out that you're HIV+
     
    #16 Moonhammer, Jul 24, 2014
  17. TrueColors

    TrueColors
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    Yeah.
    Criminal Transmission of HIV | AVERT

     
    #17 TrueColors, Jul 24, 2014
  18. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    To the op and other lesbians reading this , next time you hook up with women you met online, or real life and use protection ,

    Do not share your toys if your not using protection bring your own toys, personally I never share toys
    Put condoms on your toys
    Use gloves when fingering
    Use dental dams
     
    #18 stocking, Jul 24, 2014
  19. C06122014

    C06122014 Guest

    HIV is transmitted through these bodily fluids;
    Blood
    Semen
    Breast milk(I know weird)
    Lastly vaginal fluids

    So get yourself rested just to be sure please and also be careful please /.\
     
    #19 C06122014, Jul 24, 2014
  20. Gallatin

    Gallatin
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    As everyone has said, absolutely get tested. But you should wait just a little while, as most places will recommend not taking the test until 3 months after the possible exposure. Before that point, the chances for an inaccurate result are much higher. Since you said this happened two months ago, I would suggest waiting until it's closer to three months, and then getting tested. More information on the testing window can be found here.

    I hope everything turns out well. Remember, EC is always here for you.
     
    #20 Gallatin, Jul 24, 2014
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