So, hears the thing. I've been dating a transwoman for about a year and a half. She's fantastic and I love her. But I've got a major issue. It's almost impossible for me to have sex. 9 times out of 10, when I do manage to get myself in the mood, about halfway through, I have a huge dysphoria attack and I need to stop. And when I say huge, I mean huge. It usually consists of me crying and the last time it happened I had to stop myself from punching a wall. The great thing about having another transperson as a partner is that they know exactly what you're feeling. So she knows how to calm me down. But I'm still terrified of getting to that point in the first place. It's gotten to the point where we have sex maybe once a month. That's not enough for her. We've actually had a serious conversation about the lack of sex. She says that she's starting to get the impression that I just don't want to have sex because something is wrong with her. Which there isn't, and she knows that but she says that doesn't make the feeling go away. I want to make her happy. I want to be the boyfriend she expects me to be. But I just don't know how to get over this. Can anyone help me?
Would it be possible for both of you to include toys and enjoy the orgasms as a pleasurable experience and maybe source for energy ? There are tools like the magic wand which could be used to please both partners being together.
Would it be helpful any to invest in a packer or prosthetic you could use (if you aren't already)? Likewise, binding or wearing a shirt during sex if your chest area is a source of discomfort? There are a lot of things that can make someone dysphoric during sex, but it's a means of tackling the source and attempting to find ways around it, or to alleviate the dysphoria as best as possible. You could talk with your girlfriend about trying new things, alternating positions or sticking to oral sex for now, anything you can do in order for the both of you to be comfortable.
She has said she's not too comfortable with me doing the penetrating. Guess a magic wand might help. I'll look into it.
There are magic wands which are mains powered... nowadays there are smart wands available which are battery powered... I'd look up a few reviews and customer opinions... many report really pleasurable experiences...
