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A "weighty" issue: Lost the flab...now what?

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by PlutonianShore, Aug 4, 2014.

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  1. PlutonianShore

    PlutonianShore
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    When I started studying this year, I weighed 120 kgs (254.5 lbs). The previous holiday had left some extra baggage on my gut, something that I staunchly tried to ignore.....even though family photos often constantly reminded me of the somewhat "generousness" I had grown to.

    However, once arriving in the student town I was to call my new home, and seeing all the South African sun-tanned hunks roaming the streets, I decided that I wasn't going to stand for my ample figure any longer.

    I made simple, small changes to my lifestyle. I'd walk long distances to class and back. I'd climb stairs (most of my classes were on the top floors of the buildings anyway). I kept a hawk's eye on what I shoved down my gullet. I did make mistakes though: among them starving myself and ruining my relatively stable finances on a shake diet for a month. In the end, all turned out well. Now, at this very moment, I weigh just under 90 kgs (198 lbs). Around 85-87 I wouldn't wonder. Since I'm not scrawny at all, and rather heavy set, I'd think that this about qualifies me as average. Indeed, I have received a tremendous amount of compliments from my fellow students and lecturers. My mother even jokingly pleaded with me not to lose anymore for the fear of disappearing forever. Though I might not have an impressive toned physique, I'm definitely not loaded with handlebars as I used to be anymore :eusa_danc.

    However, with this literal burden relieved, I set my sights on a wonderful (read sarcastic) little app called ****** (didn't realize this was a bad word....the app is orange with a little black mask as a logo...*hint*). I thought this extreme loss in weight was inversely proportional to a skyrocket in sex appeal.

    Unfortunately...no...

    Since creating my user profile, I have mostly received a barrage of rejection from all sides. Some ranging from polite ("not interested, sorry"), to mean ("FUGLY!!!") to downright, unprovoked nasty ("Go see a dentist, fug!"). And all I'm asking is......why?

    Did I skip a step? Through how many more hoops should I throw myself just to be considered physically appealing? What's going on???? :help:

    As a means of illustration, I have attached two photos. One that was taken at the beginning of the year for my student card....and one taken a few moments ago. I am not the best selfie taker, that much is evident.

    Thank you all you kindly people:smilewave
     
    #1 PlutonianShore, Aug 4, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2014
  2. mangotree

    mangotree
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    I went through a very similar experience with weight loss and g***r a couple of years back (I went from 130kg to 90kg).
    Firstly, g***r really is not the best indication of how attractive you are or aren't.
    The problem with the online thing is that people can't experience you as a person. They can't see the confidence, energy and sexyness that you exude in real life.

    When you think about it, would you really want to meet up with someone who puts people down like that? They're kind of doing you a favour in a way.

    Congrats on the great weight loss by the way.

    My main recommendation is to try to meet new people in person, at bars or clubs etc.. instead of online. Get some nice new fitting clothes and show them off on your new body. Be proud of your achievement and people will see how much you glow.

    You're not doing anything wrong.
    Where did you attach your photos by the way?
     
    #2 mangotree, Aug 4, 2014
  3. PlutonianShore

    PlutonianShore
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    #3 PlutonianShore, Aug 5, 2014
  4. mangotree

    mangotree
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    Wow, you look like a new man :slight_smile:
     
    #4 mangotree, Aug 5, 2014
  5. PlutonianShore

    PlutonianShore
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    #5 PlutonianShore, Aug 8, 2014
  6. bingostring

    bingostring
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    That's an amazing achievement. Well done!!

    I'd just disregard flip comments from the App…
    and just focus on keeping fit and socialising...
     
    #6 bingostring, Aug 9, 2014
  7. AKTodd

    AKTodd
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    You're not at all ugly. I agree with Mangotree - go out, meet people in person, join clubs or meetups or whatever other social things interest you (LGBT or not) and have a happy life. Somewhere in there you will find someone (or several) who will like you for you and will think you're very attractive indeed. While you're at it, it probably would be a better use of your phones memory to dump the app.

    While the internet has many great features, the anonymity is allows is a double-edged sword in that is allows people to be total sh**heads with no consequences. Hence the making of nasty comments secure in the knowledge that no one will ever call them on it or (better yet) kick their teeth in.

    Beyond that, you might check out this website:

    http://fuckyeahgaycouples.tumblr.com/page/62

    or this:

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/60-moments-that-gave-me-the-chills-during-seattle

    Both of which demonstrate that LGBT folks come in all shapes and sizes and appearances and that there is no one standard of beauty that one must meet to have someone fall in love with you.

    Hope this helps,

    Todd
     
    #7 AKTodd, Aug 9, 2014
  8. wanderinggirl

    wanderinggirl
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    Aww you have an adorable smile! You look great, congrats on the weight loss. People are assholes online. I bet you're very charismatic in person, I second what other people have said about trying to meet people in person.

    If you want to keep up a profile, try getting some pictures on there that capture your personality instead of "vanity photos"; maybe you doing something you love, something you're good at, a cool artsy photo, or something funny/clever.
     
    #8 wanderinggirl, Aug 9, 2014
  9. Brandiac

    Brandiac
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    I literally went holy sh*t when I compared the two pictures. Shame on me for not having taken anything to compare to myself two years ago. It seems rather common to lose 30-40 kgs, I've lost 35, started out at 131 in March 2013. I should keep pushing though to hit the eighties.
    It's such a great feeling when you're losing weight and cross the 2 digit line isn't it ... :thumbsup:
     
    #9 Brandiac, Aug 9, 2014
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