So, I did something stupid and met a guy for a hookup. We did oral and I topped him, or at least tried to. I used a condom but I couldn't keep it hard at all. I was crazy nervous but now I'm afraid I caught something. What are the chances that I could have caught something? He said his mom is a nurse and told me he gets tested every 4 months but still freaking out.
Well, because I usually don't do this and I'm afraid I could've caught it somehow. Usually anything enjoyable gets ruined for me.
Did the condom break? Did this person looked sicklish or showed any symptoms of carrying a disease/infection? Did this person lie to you about something? Was there any exchange of fluids beside saliva? If the answer to all of those questions is no then I would say there's a good chance you may be overthinking this, the only way to be sure is testing yourself. In the meantime, if you have no reason to believe you caught something (other than this being new to you) take it easy and be patient. Even if you caught something, stressing yourself over it is more likely to lower your defenses and make you more vulnerable to the disease so... Chill out, test yourself and wait for the results.
Hi, FIrst, take a deep breath. I think your last post sums it up: you're feeling guilty because you feel like what you did was wrong. And I get what that feels like. But just recognize it for what it is: guilt, and the fear of punishment because some part of you things you did something "dirty." We get this message constantly and subtlely that sex is wrong and dirty and evil... and it's not. So it's a matter of helping your unconscious self realize that it's OK to enjoy yourself sexually, and have a good time (as long as you're thoughtful and cautious, as you were.) To me, it sounds like you took appropriate precautions, used a condom, and were with someone who cares enough about his health to get tested. So all of those point to your basically following "best practices" for safer sex. The likelihood that you got something is pretty close to zero. Of course *any* time you have a sexual encounter, even practicing safer sex, there is some risk, that's why they call it "safer" and not "safe" sex. But all of life includes risk, and you seem to have made good choices here. It's always worth getting tested if it puts your mind at ease, but I don't hear anything that would raise any concerns.
I think you're correct, Chip. I find it hard to enjoy myself during sex because I feel someone dirty and wrong. I must think that I will catch something as some sort of punishment. I guess that its something i need to work on . I think that's why i couldn't finish either . :icon_redf
I think that because of the proper precautions that you took, you'd have a wayyyyyyyy better chance of not having anything. You said that his mom's a nurse, right? Well doesn't that relieve even a little bit? I'm sure that he was super cautious and wouldn't want to infect you or himself. Don't feel bad for what you did, as it is what we all are allowed to do. You shouldn't be ashamed of it at all .
In the city in which I live, there's a free and confidential 'sexual health centre' where one can get anonymously tested for absolutely everything. Maybe there's one in your city, too. That would put your mind at rest. In the meantime, well don't panic, most probably you are ok.
Yeah you're right, he was safe and was nice enough. I didnt use a condom when i performed oral so that could be a problem. The whole experience was pretty terrible and I didn't really have any fun. I didn't finish and iI was pretty terrible. Thinking about it now just makes me cringe. Despite all of this he talked about "next time" before left .
Well what's the worst that could happen? These conditions are REALLY unsuitable for HIV contraction (if the guy was infected at all), so even if you did get something, you'll be cured and end of story. You'll have gained experience and that's it.
it not likely u got anything iv hooked up with guys b4 and iv never got a thing and if he gets tested and hes got nothing ur good
In the interest of providing accurate information to the many people that may be reading this thread, the above statement is one of the most common misconceptions, and is one of the leading causes of HIV infection. When someone is tested using the standard tests, the test is for antibodies to the HIV virus, not the virus itself. So all the test tells you is that at that particular moment, the person did not have antibodies to the HIV virus. He could have been infected with HIV 2 weeks before the test, and it could be repiicating rapidly, and he could have an extremely high virus load and be infecting everyone in sight... and he would still test negative, because it takes anywhere from 3 to 12 weeks for the antibodies to develop. And while the antibodies are developing, that is when the person is at the highest risk of transmitting to someone else... which is also the time that the test will show negative. So a clean test does NOT mean someone is HIV-, unless you absolutely know that person has had no other possible exposure (i.e., no sex, no IV drug use) for 5-12 weeks *prior* to the date of the test, and no exposure afterward either. Very unlikely. And that, folks, is why condoms and caution are always necessary and appropriate. i
Well, I could have caught something from oral without a condom or from kissing. I don't know how likely that is or what I could have caught. I have learned that the enjoyment of sex isn't worth the anxiety afterwards so I'm done with it. For anyone reading this, if you are on the fence about a hookup because you have anxiety about catching something, it's not a good idea.
