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Can't finish during intercourse - is this a common problem???

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by 19rali, Aug 17, 2014.

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  1. 19rali

    19rali
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    So I've been with my partner for a few months now, and we see each other occasionally (we live quite a ways away from each other). When we do see each other he makes me really happy and we've had sex quite a few times. No matter what we do I just can't seem to finish. I'll get close but then nothing happens and it's really frustrating me because I have no problem finishing during masturbation. I know I'm definitely attracted to him and I have said this to him, so that's not the issue. Maybe I'm worrying too much about it? Because that's all I think about when we're together. I don't want him to think he doesn't make me happy because he does. Is there any way I can get over this? I would appreciate any advice!
     
    #1 19rali, Aug 17, 2014
  2. Ouzo

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    I think it might have something to do with anxiety
     
    #2 Ouzo, Aug 17, 2014
  3. 19rali

    19rali
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    I have thought about that. This is also my first sexual relationship so this is all new to me.
     
    #3 19rali, Aug 17, 2014
  4. Kai LD

    Kai LD
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    Anxiety almost certainly. Thanks for posting.
     
    #4 Kai LD, Aug 17, 2014
  5. 19rali

    19rali
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    Is this something that will resolve itself over time? I'm hoping it's not something I'll need to see a therapist for. I'm just wondering if anyone has had the same issue and what they did to resolve it.
     
    #5 19rali, Aug 18, 2014
  6. TJ

    TJ
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    My boyfriend and I have had a similar issue with me, however the issue is that I just take longer to finish when I'm not doing it myself, because I know how to make myself feel good constantly, whereas he can't feel what I feel.
    He's gone to work on me for probably up to twenty minutes before I've finally finished. Really it's all about cooperation and communication.

    If your boyfriend's up to it while you're in bed, as he's going along doing his thing, subtly let him know what feels really good to you. You can do that in various ways: moaning more, commenting (like, "Ahh.. that feels so good."), etc.

    Anxiety due to the newness of your relationship may play into it a little bit, but also, a longer-standing couple has more knowledge of what makes their partner 'tick', so things may get easier as you grow together.

    Don't let this stress you or your boyfriend out. It's all part of the relationship, and neither one of you is to blame. I'm not suggesting that you're blaming him, but oftentimes partners can feel like they're not doing it right, or like they're bad at having sex.

    Good luck.
     
    #6 TJ, Aug 18, 2014
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