Hi, maybe this is a weird question, but I'm sure you're fine with it since you clicked on this thread. I am a virgin, but I do masturbate, like a lot. I've been doing it pretty much since I was twelve I think, and I'm almost eighteen now. I still can't have an orgasm. I don't know if I'm not doing it right, or what. It feels good, but it almost gets to be too much and I have to stop. I don't know if something is wrong with me or if this is normal. I just don't want to be having sex with a girl and I can't come and she gets upset or something. Any advice?
"...but it almost gets to be too much and I have to stop." Keep going . The best sex / sexual pleasure comes from pushing limits and breaking your own boundaries (not other peoples heh - well, sometimes). Usually about the point my GF tells me to stop, I keep at it and she cums. She then gets angry that I made her cum before we actually had sex. It's funny.
Okay I'm male so I doubt that my answer will help much, but as the girls above said keep going and you'll get it . However when I had a girlfriend and we had sex, after it she liked me to use vibrator on her, but when she was almost to reach orgasm she would just slap me and say to stop, it's like she didn't want to cum and she explained to me that it was more of a psychological problem, not physical. So maybe you're creating some border for it, maybe you're afraid to cum as my ex? o.o (Now I feel stupid for writing this.)
Exactly. I have the same problem sometimes; either I'll being thinking too much when I'm coming close to orgasm, or I just stop altogether because of anticipation/anxiety. It even happens not just with masturbation, but sex, too. It's more of an involuntary response for me personally. Keep going, because you won't regret it, as excessive as it might seem. Perhaps meditating or relaxing beforehand could help as well.
I agree. Orgasm will feel intense. It might feel like ''too much''. Don't stop. Keep going and see what happens.
You might have a look at this thread: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anonymous-physical-sexual-health/148224-girls-masturbation-help.html If you would like to read a bit about the subject, including psychological barriers, creating a comfortable envoronment, etc, there is a book called E.S.O. by the pair Brauer. They have a clinic and have written a book with methods for achieving orgasm . There are online reviews available .
Ok. She's not churning butter. All this "keep going" sounds a bit like "just muscle through it" and it doesn't work that way. I wonder if taking it a bit slower and working up to things might help. Allowing for a more conducive environment, if you get my drift. Oh. You can still enjoy sex without an actual orgasm. That's not the only good part. And you can always keep practicing with her if you like. I'm sure she'd enjoy that.
Yeah, thanks for all the replies, everyone, but it's not that easy. It feels good but then it starts to feel like too much and I HAVE to stop. Like I physically can't make myself keep going.
Its like leting go... letting oneself fall... You could get in a cosy place where you feel at ease... You might watch your breathing... taking a bit deeper breaths... and keep going... If there are distracting thoughts you might just concentrate on what you like... The book above is a quite good reference, its called pre orgasmic, if you want to look that up, the book covers that up to multiple o's (there are quite a few detailed graphics included in the book, though). What is pre-orgasmic? | Go Ask Alice!
I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. This is precisely my problem too. I feel an urgent and irresistible need to stop. It is the same whether I'm with a partner or alone. It has always been this way. It's actually gotten quite frustrating. I have no answer, just the same problem as you. I'd really like to hear a solution for it though.
In the link above your posting, there are solutions given... if buying toys I'd prefer safe materials...
I've never been with anyone, and I don't have a girlfriend or a girl to have a friends with benefits sort of thing. Could that have something to do with it? That I'm a virgin and I'm just not doing it right?
Have you read the link above and their solutions ? They also say you're not the only one... There were married women who also experienced this.... it has nothing to do with that. Just take your time. And as they say, for example, relaxing and focusing on what feels good...
