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I think I might be FtM Trans but I don't want to be

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by charlie t, Aug 21, 2014.

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  1. charlie t

    charlie t Guest

    I'm really struggling with gender identity right now, and I think I might be FtM trans, but I don't want to be. Coming out to my family again would be very very difficult and uncomfortable, since my dad still isn't fully on board with me being a lesbian. Like, it's getting to the point that I'm depressed at work. I'm a truck loader for a vending company and I dress like a boy everyday and I worry that I don't look manly enough. I want the guys that I work with to think of me as one of the guys, but I don't want them to tell my dad (who works at the same place) that he has a son instead of a daughter. What should I do? :help:
     
    #1 charlie t, Aug 21, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 21, 2014
  2. Pret Allez

    Pret Allez
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    Well, that's a completely tough and different question. You definitely need a support network though. Do your coworkers kinda treat you as manly, at least? Are you out as lesbian to them? (I realize that's not correct, since I'm regarding you as a man, here, but anyway..)
     
    #2 Pret Allez, Aug 21, 2014
  3. Edra

    Edra
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    I feel there is still some missing information. Maybe you can tell us why you don't want to be trans? Is it only because you don't want to come out again, or is there more to it. I may have just miss understood, at my mind set has been on work all day. So if that is the case just ignore me.
     
    #3 Edra, Aug 21, 2014
  4. charlie t

    charlie t Guest

    Pret Allez, my coworkers do not treat me as manly. I almost didn't get the job because the owner didn't think I could lift the cases of pop (presumably because I have a vagina), (also it's a temp position so I didn't actually get hired as an employee so no legal implications there with gender discrimination.) and the other truckloaders always work around me when it comes to heavy lifting, saying that if I can't do it then there's other stuff that needs to get done. I'm not out as a lesbian to everyone, though some of the higher ups know because my dad told them.

    Edra, I don't want to come out to my family again, no, but I also don't want to be wrong in my assumption that I AM trans. My worst fear is that some day I'll lose all my memory and when I relearn everything I'll be a straight girl and was wrong for all those years. I've never been with a girl or a guy, but I get feelings for girls.
     
    #4 charlie t, Aug 21, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 21, 2014
  5. Pret Allez

    Pret Allez
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    Hmm, well I'm sorry that you're in a tough spot. I had hoped that if you were out as lesbian, there would be some sort of "maybe she's butch and I can relate to that" camaraderie that you could share with them to make things easier.

    Now I wonder if you need a trans support group instead. I wouldn't worry about coming out if you don't want to. In my opinion, it's a lot harder to be out as trans.

    But from now on, I regard you as a straight guy. Lemme know if you pick a name, eh?

    (*hug*) Adrienne
     
    #5 Pret Allez, Aug 21, 2014
  6. charlie t

    charlie t Guest

    I really like the name Charlie. And thank you, that means a lot. (*hug*)
     
    #6 charlie t, Aug 21, 2014
  7. Edra

    Edra
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    For what I asked I would just suggest to keep thinking on it and exploring your self. If you are unsure then just stay that way tell you feel you know better. As for the work issue it sounds like a typical work environment. I think that will work its self out in time I would just keep doing the job. You will fit in better once you and them get settled in better.

    ---------- Post added 21st Aug 2014 at 09:49 PM ----------

    I feel like I am disconnected tonight I may stop posting for the night. I am sorry I think you should just ignore me for the moment.
     
    #7 Edra, Aug 21, 2014
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