Guys, I need your input. My boyfriend is having some issues. He's always had really good control over when he comes, but lately its just getting really easy for him. Like, I'll give him a hand job and he'll come. Completely, not just pre cum. It used to be we could make love for an hour at least before he would have to let himself come. He could hold it back for that long. I'm trying to do some research for him and help him figure out why its suddenly so easy fro him to ejaculate. He can't control it anymore at all. My theories so far: 1. he's had to drink alot of water lately for the activities he's in. Maybe the increase of fluids in his body is having an effect on his release? 2. He's under alot of stress and its his body's way of releasing that stress? (though i'd think that stress would have the opposite effect.) 3. We had to switch condom types because the first was too tight. Maybe that released something that was being constricted? This doesn't really bother me, but he said it kinda embarrasses him because he just wants to pleasure me and can't when he's coming so soon. I want to help him. Any ideas guys on why its suddenly so easy for him? Are my theories possible? I obviously don't have a very good education on how the male system works, but I'm going to be doing some research today to see if i can get some info for him. What do you all think?
Actually, the easiest answer isn't to push the orgasm backwards, but bring the next one forwards. Make sure he doesn't masturbate at least 24 hours before you two hit the bedroom. Then, first thing off, get him off. Any way you want to do it - hand job, whatever. Next, give him a minute or two to recover. Clean up if you've got to. Then, start over. You'll probably have to start slow - kissing, hugging, moving your hands around - but if most likely, he'll be OK for a second round. Give that a try - see what happens. Lex
These are my opinions only, based on what little knowledge I have. 1. As far as I know, increase in fluids will make for a better ejaculation, but I'm not aware that it can make you come sooner. 2. I'd tend to agree in thinking that stress would make it more difficult, but again, I'm not certain. 3. Of all the things you've mentioned, this one seems the most plausible to me. Either the different feel/material is doing something, or the tightness of the older ones may have had a "cock-ring effect," preventing him from coming so early. Of course, there are a host of other factors that could come into it, and I'm just going off what I (think I) know. If he's really concerned, the best idea would be to go and see a doctor / professional about the issue.
Ejaculation control requires two things- listening to your body and pacing yourself. For guys who are used the hurry of masturbation, they often lose the ability to notice when they're getting close to ejaculation.. until it's too late. When they begin having sex with another person, the focus is not upon getting off in a hurry but instead making the experience pleasurable for the other person. That's a change and it takes some work to learn to "hold back". What Lex has suggested is often the issue for young guys who aren't having sex (either with another person or through masturbation) on a regular basis. The longer a guy goes without an orgasm, the more difficult it is to "hold back". Sometimes getting off earlier in the day will help. Sometimes having a "my time" and "your time" approach to sex helps- where the first time is intended as the "quickie" release for the guy and the second time is a more relaxed, slower pace that focuses more on the woman.
>>>Sometimes having a "my time" and "your time" approach to sex helps- where the first time is intended as the "quickie" release for the guy and the second time is a more relaxed, slower pace that focuses more on the woman. Uh, the "woman"? Lex
Yes, hun, the woman. You know, the world has some of those weird people called "heterosexuals". In all seriousness, the OP, she was asking about her boyfriend. Yes, that mythical type pf sexuality called "bisexual" does exist too.
On top of what Lex & Kara said, i mean foreplay is good but its not like u want a quickie right? no need for anyone to embarassed. Your right about the factors above except...errr....idk about the condom one. But i dont see a problem here, i mean the real problem would be if ur bf cums and then falls asleep on u :dry: now THAT would be a problem; cum early then don't finnish delivering the goods. Never happened to me but i have girlfriends who complain about it and its not a nice issue much >.>
I've talked to him about it and even looked information up online for him. The only thing that keeps coming up is stuff about premature ejaculation. I'm not sure that that's what this is. It all started a few weeks before college started so I'm convinced its a psychological thing. He's not so sure but doesn't offer up any other explanations on what it could be. I don't know what to do. He's the only person I've ever had sex with so I don't really have anything to compare to. Like I've said before, It doesn't really bother me, but it bugs him so I'm doing what I can to help him. I did bring up the "my time your time" thing to him. He did say we could do that if we couldn't find a way to fix it. He doesn't really like that because he likes to try to have me peak the same time he does. Kinda to bring us closer together on a higher level. I don't know guys. I'm just so lost even now on what to do. I don't think its something physical that he'd need a doctor for and he doesn't think so either. But this has been going on...he said like...6 weeks maybe? Do you think he needs to go to a doctor about this? And if so, when would be an appropriate time?
