I've never had sex with a girl other than my ex, but it wasn't even sex, we were young and she ate me out. Now I'm with her again and I know that time is coming to have sex but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do :/ I guess she's considered a stem/stud and I'm a fem. How am I supposed to know of I eat her out or finger her or any of that?! Not saying I wouldn't do it but I'm just nervous to.
First off take a deep breath and relax. Now that you're calm. The biggest mistake you can make during sex is over thinking it. It's one of those things you just gotta kinda let it happen. What I mean is if you go in with a plan you will be worried when is the right time to do what. If you go in relaxed and willing to improvise then things flow and it can be amazing. From what I read she seems to be the more dominant personality/role, and if she has more experience than you, then all you really have to do is follow her lead. For example if she grabs you and pulls you to her, let her pull you and put your arms around her too. As far as if you should do this or that with her you have two choices. A) move slowly toward the area and watch her reactions. You will know if she wants that or not. Trust me you will know if she doesn't want your hand/mouth in that area. If moving towards the area is okay start gently and slowly and work toward things you are more concerned she might not want. So long as you pay attention to her you will know if you are getting near a line she doesn't want to cross and you can pull back a bit. B) Again slowly work toward that area then ASK IF SHE LIKES whatever you had planned. For some reason people are ashamed to ask what their partner likes but it is so simple and can prevent soooo much fumbling. An example here would be start kissing down her chest to her stomach to the bottom of her stomach. Then ask if she likes it if someone eats her out (your phase not mine). Just a hint if she says yes anticipation makes things better. Don't just go for it. Go as close as you can and,when she thinks the next move will be "there" move away a bit instead. A couple teases before you go for it does wonders
I just want to say that I find it hilarious that a gay guy is giving advice about sex with a woman. It's good advice but nonetheless...
Why is it weird? I give more sex advice to gay men than I do to lesbians :icon_wink Anyway for the OP, I second everything redneck said. You really just need to talk to her and the rest should come naturally.
No need to be nervous... I'd say enjoy each other, explore each other... You probably have explored yourself, so you basically know what feels good... yet everybody is different, you can commmunicate in verbal and nonverbal ways... many like kisses, especially on the neck or behind the ears... if you explore your bodys, caressing... building up a bit of anticipation, stroking the inner thighs etc... some like circling the clit or stroking it rhythmically, using some lube ... gspot stimulation with one or two fingers in a slightly come hither motion... (oh and short fingernails are of advantage ) I'd say just take your time, do what feels natural, if in doubt ask if she enjoys it... you might ask her what she likes... I'd say its like a dance, enjoy it
My advice? Giggle lots! Have fun, and don't (in the initial stages), take it all too seriously Start slowly at first (just kissing, hands carressing over clothes, etc). But then the key is to be open, and to giggle and communicate! Ask her what she wants, or if what you're doing is OK, or for her to help, or 'I'm not sure what you like' whilst you're doing something. You can even say that you haven't much experience.
