So, I have been seriously considering seeing a therapist who specializes in helping people get through their issues with sex. I was sexually abused as a child and haven't ever had an intimate romantic relationship with anyone, because I am scared to get close to people. Both physically and emotionally. I have lived with my best friend for almost 7 years and have known her for going on 11, but I can't even deal with her touching me (she is a super-cuddly person so this has caused some problems over the years) for the briefest of moments. Even if she stands too close to me I feel uncomfortable and get scared. But I want to have a girlfriend and have a physical relationship with someone. It is a new thing for me. Before about 8 months ago I would have been just terrified of the idea, but now it is something that I really want. I am currently seeing a therapist to deal with the childhood trauma and stuff, but I was wondering if this is something that I need to see a "specialist" about? I get really uncomfortable talking about such private thoughts and feelings...even in therapy I've never been able to go into detail of any kind about the things my step-dad did to me...but I feel that if I see a therapist who specializes in sexual health then I won't need to feel embarrassed or scared because it's what they do. It's their job to hear people talking about that kind of stuff. But at the same time I wish I could just talk about it with my current therapist but it's so scary. I just don't know :eusa_doh: Has anyone on here seen a sexual therapist? Would they recommend it to someone in my situation? I see my current therapist later this week and I am going to bring it up, but I think hearing from someone who either has the same concerns as me or has already been through this might be helpful. Thanks.
Whether or not you need a therapist who specializes in that type of thing, I'm unsure.. but I would definitely bring it up to your current therapist and see what they think. They may or may not feel suitable in that area. I personally saw a therapist for a time and talked to them about everything under the sun (including abuse).. and I felt that they really helped me.. but it really depends on the therapist I think. Also.. just want to say that I can relate to you so much. I read some of your other posts, and though I don't know the specifics of what you've been through, I can relate to a lot of what you're saying on a personal level. I really wish you the best.. and hope you find the right person to talk to about this.
yes, bring it up to your current therapist its an interesting area to discuss.. it might be helpful to deal with touch intimacy issues have you thought of telling your friend so that she understands and maybe you can ease in to it very gradually
@Tyrion, Thank you. <3. I will talk with my current therapist then and she what she says. . @Bingostring, I've told my friend and she stopped the attach hugs and constantly trying to cuddle, but my therapist said the best way to get over the touch issue is by repeated exposure and my friend took that to mean it is her personal mission to poke me, hug me, stroke my arm whenever she feels like it and no amount of "please, don't do that" will get her to stop, because she feels like she has my therapist's permission. *heavy sigh*. I 've tried to get her to come in with me for a joint session so that my therapist could tell her face to face to cut it out, but so far my friend hasn't agreed to do that though she's said that maybe in the future she will.
SpaceSuit, I'd like to say that I admire your courage in facing all of this so honestly. I'm not sure what help I can be, but if you think I can, please ask. I don't like being touched by strangers myself, but even someone I've just met - if they are touch-feely like your roommate - as long as I see the touch coming I can appreciate it as affection. As to your original question? Maybe. I think you should say to your current therapist what you said to us, and ask them if a specialist might be part of the solution.
Thank you all for your support and encouragement. This is a difficult subject for me to bring up in therapy, but I think it will be worth the momentary embarrassment to find some answers that will help me become healthier and happier.
SpaceSuit, good for you. I hope you know, you are helping others as you get help. Someone else, maybe a lurker, will see this thread and be inspired to ask for some help for themselves, too. That's why this place is here.
