Questions about HIV

It's too difficult to give any number estimates or probably even any relative estimates because everyone's viral loads differ from others' as well as the fact that an individual's viral load can differ too depending on the time, besides the fact that certain sex acts are more risky than others, and the way you do certain sex acts can make them riskier, too.

I will say, though, that it is great you're getting tested (Maybe your boyfriend could get tested, too?). One thing to keep in mind is that bareback sex between two people who 100% do not have HIV (Hypothetically assuming that two people do not whatsoever have it, which is extremely difficult to know for certain because some people cheat even when we don't think they would ever do so; Note that I'm not saying that your boyfriend is doing so, but that it's impossible to know lots of the time) technically cannot possibly result in HIV transmission, but that it can pass on other STIs that either of you may have, and that it could always, regardless of STI status, result in a urinary tract infection (Assuming it's anal sex).

Using a condom's the easiest way to prevent either of you from contracting any STIs or UTIs, etc. It's also pretty cost-effective compared to the outcome of treating a contracted disease. Hopefully this helped! =]

 

If you're HIV- in your next test, it doesn't mean "you won't catch it because you haven't yet". The smart money is just to stop playing the numbers game, and start practicing safe sex. Not once in a while, but always.

Lex

 

There aren't any real numbers I can think of right now on what the odds are you could contract HIV, but I will say that the receptive partner in unprotected MSM anal sex is at a much higher risk than any other sexual partner or activity for that matter (sans maybe sharing needles).

I also think it's a good thing you're getting tested, and it would be even better if you both got tested, to put everything to rest once and for all. Maybe you could get him to go on the same day as you, as you can be there for each other for support, and to be together when you get your results back.

And to echo what Luthan said, condoms for anal sex are always a very good idea, not only to protect against HIV, but also so the penetrative partner does not get a urinary tract infection, which isn't good for either party.

 

The risk of contracting HIV from unprotected receptive anal sex with an HIV positive partner is estimated to be between 0.04% and 3.0% according to this study.
This study puts an upper estimate of 1.7%.
The risk varies depending on how infectious the person currently is, as Luthan said.

Those numbers are for a single encounter, so while they do seem low (and they are in comparison to other STDs), if we take the worst case scenario of 3% per encounter, then you only need to have unprotected sex 23 times before you've got over a 50% chance of contraction.

Of course you should both go and get checked to put your mind at rest and not rely on chance - but you did ask for numbers .

 

Can somebody help me answer some of my questions?

Since i was young i found some pink spots on the head part of my penis. I was kind of wondering on what that is. And I was afraid and shy at the same if i should go to the doctor. And recently, ive notice that there are some other pinkish rash that emerged on the head of my pebis and sometimes it itch. Dont know what that is. Can someone help me? Thanks a lot!

 

If your boyfriend REFUSES to get tested, you have every right, nay, an obligation to your own health to REFUSE to get fucked.

Sorry for being so blunt, but it is mind-boggling to me to even accept the possibility of getting HIV.

Sure it isn't the death sentence it was not so long ago, but getting infected means a lifetime of (generally expensive) meds, known and unknown side effects from the meds (some of which are rather nasty) and now we are seeing that aging with (treated) HIV has a whole host of unexpected outcomes.

I cannot stress strongly enough, brother, that you are accepting an unacceptable situation. I would have thought that a loving relationship involves a duty of care and consideration. If he could be positive, then you have a duty to ask him to get tested, and he has a duty not to put you at risk.

I wish I could post a picture of my sister, who has been living with HIV/AIDS for the last 20 years. It speaks a thousand words.

 

Have you tried suggesting to him that he gets a home tests and does it at home? Maybe his issue is partly the privacy factor.

 

This is very concerning. He should be concerned about his own safety as well as yours. I personally see this as a major red flag. I would not do anything sexual with him until he gets tested, because like you have said, you do not want to have anything.

 

I can relate to the hating doctors offices part of this. I've never been a fan of doctors, and the only reason I go now is to keep access to my T.

He needs to understand that this is something that could kill him. A simple visit to the doctors office will not kill him. It will also free him from uncertainty of not knowing if he is positive or not.

 

I gotta echo that, too. The first and only time I had sex (I was with a woman) I didn't wear a condom and although I tested negative for all 'normal' STDs I did get a nasty UTI which took about a week and a half of antibiotics to shake, and an additional month to fully recover. I also had gotten a bad case of thrush, which was why I got myself tested for HIV, but that was actually something else unrelated.

As for HIV, the chances of contracting are fairly low from what I understand but that doesn't justify unprotected sex with someone who you think may be or know is HIV+. My cousin's partner dropped dead at the ripe old age of 34 about a year ago and he (my cousin) had a big HIV scare-- while he didn't contract it himself, his partner had died from it, but because there was no palimony his partner's family wouldn't even let him go to the funeral. It's a terrible disease and it varies from person to person.

 

Have you communicated your concerns with him? If not, I would suggest having a serious conversation with him about this. Part of a relationship is respecting each others concerns, and this is something that he seems to not be doing here.

 

It's always like the clock is moving as slow as molasses when waiting for any medical test result.

The situation is that you should not accept exposure to HIV if it means doing something to please another person and just keep on going at it because you haven't gotten a positive test. The fact that you are negative is a good thing so do what you can to keep it that way. Also, what was going on with him at the time that he was being promiscuous and doing it without protection? In fact, it continued with you, as well. Information on protection is readily available so there's no excuse.

It sounds like you have two decisions to make. The first is how you will approach safe sex to protect YOU. The second is if this is the right person for YOU. We don't have all the information. Best of luck.