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Gay Men; TOP vs BOTTOM pleasure

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Fantie, Oct 31, 2014.

  1. Fantie

    Fantie Guest

    I know that bottom (butt) sex is painful but I want to know which feels better as orgasm/CUM. :dry:
     
  2. Gen

    Gen
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    Well, we can start with the fact that receiving penetration, whether anally or vaginally, should never be painful. A certain degree of discomfort when first experimenting with the act is fairly normal, but when it moves from moderate discomfort to actual pain, or never evolves outside of discomfort than that is a sign that something is wrong with the way it is being carried out.

    As to which feels better, they are both fundamentally very different types of sensations, so in most cases it will just depend on the desires and preferences of the participants. There is no golden rule when it comes to sexual satisfaction in general. It will all depend on the individual.
     
  3. Damien

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    I am Bi, but over the months, I've 'experimented' a lot with this newly discovered erogenous zone and have become infatuated with the idea of being penetrated one day...once (while self-pleasuring) I went so long at it, that my poor butt got kind of sore...I had to stop myself from continuing :lol: Mind you, that was after doing it every day for two weeks...I took it too far. Anyway. When I first began, even inserting my finger was physically confronting. But what I've found, is that now, I barely even notice it. In fact, I need to upgrade to something larger. So it seems that one's entrance gets used to being penetrated, more relaxed with it. This also happens in the course of a single 'session' - as you become truly aroused, notice how the inside of the rectum sort of expands and opens up a bit. So I don't think it need be 'painful' at all...of course I've not engaged in it irl but god I look forward to some handsome guy 'giving it to me' some day. It's a whole new world of pleasure when the prostate gland sweetly and gradually gets stimulated, is it not? As for giving it myself, well I imagine it feels pretty much as good as penetrating a vagina, yes? Which I'm already familiar with...Basically, I reckon they would both be pretty darn good, each in their own way, but only actual experience will tell, I guess...
     
  4. PatrickUK

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    It depends on you and depends on your sexual partner. If you bottom for an attentive and considerate top who listens to you and pays attention to your wants and needs you could both have an amazing time, but if he is an inconsiderate jerk it will be boring.

    Gen is right, anal penetration should never be painful. Using plenty of lube is necessary when bottoming (saliva doesn't count) and it's important to relax, breathe and help the top out. There should be no need for him to forcefully 'push' his way in. Again, if the top in considerate and attentive he will not cause you pain... intense pleasure maybe, but not pain.
     
  5. Pret Allez

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    Why would people ever consent to receptive anal intercourse if it hurt?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
     
  6. Fantie

    Fantie Guest

    Pasion?!
     
    #6 Fantie, Nov 1, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 1, 2014
  7. imnotreallysure

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    I wouldn't let anyone put their member 'up there' if it even remotely hurt. Not a chance inn hell.
     
  8. redneck

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    I have never topped a guy (just never appealed to me) but have had both vaginal and anal sex with women in the past. No matter what I have done giving penetrative sex or masturbating I have never got off more than once without a rest. Like said above if you find an attentive top it can be amazing. I have had guys that have had me stupefied. I have been in situations where I was basically begging (ok screaming at) him to stop and keep going both at the same time. I find it feels amazing beyond words. And orgasm wise? I have been known to have 4-5 that were all of 10 seconds apart. Yea I definitely vote bottom.
     
  9. Pret Allez

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    That was a rhetorical question. Those of us who like receptive anal intercourse don't like it because it hurts; we like it because it feels good. My hope was to get you to think more about the question you're asking. A priori, we can know certain things about the pleasure of this kind of sexuality.
     
    #9 Pret Allez, Nov 1, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2014
  10. Lost ln Thought

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    I vote bottom. Lol.
     
  11. StephenB

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    Each person is different. I much prefer topping, although I enjoy bottoming from time to time. My ex, if he had to chose, would bottom every time. We'd go 6 months without him being the top, because he loved bottoming, and I loved topping. Every person is different.

    As others have stated, it should not hurt. At the minimum, it should be neutral. When I bottomed it was rarely great pleasure, but if it hurt at all, that was it for that time. Use plenty of lube, take it slow, have him pull out if needed, etc. Communication is key, if it hurts let him know and suggest pulling out and trying again another time. In the mean time there are other ways to finish up that session.
     
  12. BiPenguin

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    It should never be painful. Pleasurable yes, painful no.
     
  13. BaconMonster

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    Anytime i've ever done anal fingering or used objects it has never hurt. In fact the opposite, it's extremely pleasurable. Whenever i even think about anal play let alone do it i get stiffer than a metal pole in the middle of a Canadian winter XD

    (Sorry if that was TMI)
     
  14. Chip

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    It's not uncommon for it to be a bit painful at the outset, but the more you can focus on relaxing into it, the better it will feel. Others have covered it petty well I think :slight_smile:
     
  15. drwinchester

    drwinchester Guest

    I mean, there are guys who can't take that much- my boyfriend is like that- but that doesn't mean you can't or there aren't other ways to enjoy anal stimulation. In fact, my boyfriend likes being rimmed whereas I simply get more out of actually having something in. But he can and has been a bottom- it's just for him, it needs to be paced. So that might be your case. Start slow, use loads of lube, and finger until you're comfortable enough to take your partner's penis or a dildo. Rome wasn't built in a day and while it probably won't take you more than 15 minutes to be ready to take a dicking, it's not a thing you can rush.
     
  16. Images and Words

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    Whereas some people get softer than a marshmallow.

    In all seriousness though, if it HURTS as oppose to just mild discomfort, you're (or whoever is giving you butt stuff) is doing it wrong, and you may want to stop, once you push through that barrier of mild discomfort, you'll be fine.
    Also, mirroring what I said on another thread, use lots o lube and be relaxed, otherwise you're internal sphincter will be all like :eusa_naug and the object you're shoving up there will be all like :bang: :bang: :bang: