Sexually assaulted

First of all, you're not a victim, and speaking your truth is not playing the "victim card." If there is a victim card, it's the Deuce of Clubs anyway.

You're a survivor. It's important for you to be able to tell your story. You did nothing wrong in the "traditional narrative," and "even if you did," that narrative is fucked up and dumb. Nobody deserves to be sexually assaulted. Ever. Full stop.

I'm glad that things were not worse, even though his activities were very inappropriate and have profoundly affected you.

The difficulty you're feeling is that it seems like nobody is on your side. Sexual assault is not easy to prevent. And you are not responsible for it. How about let's put the responsibility and the blame on those who commit sexual assault? On those who know their friends sexually assault others but say nothing, or who even continue to associate with them?

But you have people on your side, and others have a similar experience. They feel like nobody is on their side, and that it's their fault, or that they are "weak" for "letting it ruin their life." That's all bullshit. This is a real violent crime.

I want you to hang on, okay? Stay with us.

 

You should Report it. I don't mean to be so blunt about it but that pervert shouldn't get away with that. He is disgusting for doing something something like that to you, and you are so brave for saying something most people would try to ignore it.

 

Report it if and only you feel safe to do so and have good support from your family. You have no responsibility to report; your emotional safety is the only thing that matters right now.

 

You are thirteen years old. It would be bad enough if you were thirty, but Jesus, you're just a kid. This guy is sick, sick, sick.

I've been raped and I understand the guilt and fear and hell. I suggest seeing a therapist to help put it in perspective. But I don't know if the therapist will have to report it with you being a minor. I honestly don't know. But you say you're feeling suicidal, so really I think you need to talk to somebody, and that's more important than anything.

There are a lot of forums where people talk about things like this that happened to them, which can kind of be like group therapy. Only there's no professionals there to moderate.

I also understand how it makes you feel when people like your sister say things like that. You have to understand people say stuff like that all the time just because they heard it somewhere else, and oftentimes never put any real thought of their own into it. I can think of so many beliefs I had when I was young that I lost when I got older and learned more about how people are. So I wouldn't take it personally. I bet if she knew what happened she'd do a 180. Not suggesting you tell her until you're ready, of course.

You take care of yourself.

 

Dude, you defintitely need to report that. You also need to blow off your sisters own crap and take care of you.
This is unfortunately truly creepy and criminal. I hope things work out.

 

I am so sorry you had to go through this. I ... I can't even imagine.

First, don't feel bad for how you're feeling. We all can talk the talk, it's hard to admit such things.

I would really advise you finding someone you can trust, who will also help you bring this man down. You are young. It's hard enough for adults to go through this, so I just want to make sure you can handle it.
You probably aren't the only one, so hopefully you can bring justice to the others, as well.

 

I looked into it, and this is what I got from State of Ohio website:

"Ohio's criminal statute of limitations laws allow six years for most crimes (with no limit for murder), while sex crimes, kidnapping, robbery, burglary, arson, and some other serious crimes have a 20-year statute of limitations."

So, you have plenty of time. The only thing you have to take care of you right now is you. This should not mess with your life and you need to get those suicidal thoughts that you think of out of your head asap. Why in god's name should you kill yourself because of what some waste of life did to you. You are immeasurably better than he is. Live and survive this!

 

Telling her to "report it" is not being supportive.

 

I have been sexually assaulted too by my babysitter at the age of 4 she took me into the bathroom with her and told me to lick her chest and genitalia saying there's milk in there, there was no milk and poor dairy loving four year old me was disappointed confused and scared making me become a homophobic straight girl in denial till i was 15 denying my attraction to not just the same sex.(*hug*) its all true im not making any of it up and on another note my dog killed a family of baby bunnies we wanted to keep and ran the mama rabbit into the fence where she died trapped and starving her corpse being part of the fence till the day we got rid of it staring into my soul going "why did you discover my babys and pick them up and place them in the bucket?" be glad you didn't wittness and make possible the murder of a family of rabbits on the same day you got sexually assaulted. also you should be giving the scumbag hell and not be taking your life hunt him down and expose him for the waste of space he is and have all your friends tp his house

---------- Post added 8th Nov 2014 at 04:49 PM ----------

(&&&) its going to be ok if your too scared to report it give me the guys name and i will rip him to shreds for you

---------- Post added 8th Nov 2014 at 04:54 PM ----------

i meant opposite sex by the way back there

 

Rape and molestation are very traumatizing. I should know because when I was 8 and 9 years old I was repeatedly abused by my babysitter. I never said anything because in my little kid mind he was on this pedestal that authoritarian figures can do no wrong. But I later realized what he did was cruel and twisted but it was already too late to say anything because he had died of leukemia or something a year and a half after he stopped babysitting me. Which, as you can imagine, I was not too heartbroken over. But I didn't really need to see a therapist or anything because just knowing that he was "not around" anymore comforted me (as terrible as that sounds). But there is still some lingering emotional effects. Like I have trouble trusting older guys that say they're attracted to me and stuff like that. I just have general trust issues towards men. But anyway, my problem was that I blamed myself for what happened even though I was child and couldn't really do anything to stop it. But I want you to understand it's NEVER your fault. It's is never, EVER the victim's fault.
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Secondly, screw you're sister! Who is she to assume she understands everyone's situation all the time. Don't think anything of her. She is obviously too sheltered to see reality.
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And finally, let me make this very personal for you. Suicide does not ever solve anything. I don't know if you've heard of the writer Phil Donahue but he said "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." Life gets better eventually. It always does. I can't stop you from feeling those feelings and experiencing those nightmares. So if you want to talk about it, PM me. I promise I will help your through it as best I can.

I send my love to you. Stay strong girl

 

You don't need to tell your parents or your sister : A teacher at school that you trust, or a relative could help you.
My best girlfriend suffered sexual abuse, and nobody believed her, even the police. They blamed her for the abuse.
She went through it all on her own. If she was able to do it, you can do it too.
You did well by telling us, that's the first step, but as I've said you should talk to someone you trust in RL, and of course report it. You can make a difference. Probably you were not the first that suffered that abuse. If you report him, he will get what he deserves. You can spare another girl your suffering.
Don't let him turn you into a victim. (*hug*)

 

Well, tell your mom, you need help with the nightmares, and have her find you a good therapist. That's what she should be doing. And if I were your dad, I'd go pound the shit out of this guy until all the bones in his hand were broken. I know I'd go ballistic if anyone did something to my 14 year old son.

I always kept my nightmares at bay through lucid dreaming. That is when you are aware you are dreaming. I was always able to change the outcome by concentrating on what I needed. In one particular case, I remember a group of bullies who were picking on me. I conjured up a baseball bat and changed their attitudes real quick. Don't know if that will help you, but if you don't get therapy, you might want to look into it.

Sex crimes should be dealt with severely in my book. Against children it should just be the death penalty. There's no excuse for preying on the young, and innocent like that.

 

ok dont kill yourself or cut please. just dont ok? youll regret your scars later (trust me)
when i have nightmares about my old pastor (yeah assulted by my pastor... go figure) i grab the nearest piece of paper and pen and write... write random nonsense anything doodle just to keep my mind off things.
Tell an adult about being suicidal and if you trust them about what happened to you.
Message if you need anything ok? Stay strong
i send you love

 

How Can You Control Your Dreams? - Scientific American There's actually a therapy for nightmares.

You may also be suffering from post traumatic stress disorder PTSD. Please try to seek treatment. You'll have a better life for it.

 

Definitely try to find a therapist/ counselor who specializes in teens who were assaulted. And/or a support group for people in your situation. One on one can be helpful, but group therapy, and getting to know others who've has similar experiences could be helpful as well.

And talk to your parents, and start thinking about if medication would be okay for you. It doesn't heal, but it could make sleeping easier, and make you less stressed so you could better handle the waking hours.

 

Your sister is a ludicrous idiot.

What the man did to you was sexual assault, but because of the nature of the assault it is unlikely you will be able to apprehend him. This said, if you have that relationship with your parents, tell them. Whether or not you don't, see a counselor/therapist, as it sounds like you may be experiencing acute stress disorder, which can lead to PTSD. Both are treatable, and I believe you deserve a regular and happy life.

The assault was small, and could have been worse. In reality, he didn't do a lot to you physically, so bringing yourself to a healthy state of mind is goal here.