Straight Male Interested in Fulfilling Gay Sex Fantasies (maybe NSFW)

Welcome to EC!

It's tough to say precisely what's going on here. For instance, here's one possible scenario. You say you might be addicted to porn. And it's very common for people who consume a great deal of porn to become inured to it. When this happens, most people usually respond by "kicking things up a notch". They watch more hardcore porn. They look into more kinky things. And they might go searching for porn that they associate with something "shameful" or "wrong". Doing so adds a forbidden element into the equation, which can up the excitement factor. So people might watch porn featuring "forced sex", or group scenes, or gay porn. And the idea of doing this "wrong" thing often compensates for the semi-boredom of watching too much porn, making things exciting again.

Is this what's happening? I don't really think so. One argument against it is that you actually seem interested in making the fantasy a reality. You've gone so far as to create a profile on a hook-up site, for instance. And you've thought about the ramifications of going through with such a hook-up. Most sexual fantasy focuses solely on the exciting stuff, not that boring stuff around it.

So let's clear up one bit first. No, there's nothing wrong with fantasizing about it. Fantasy is playtime, and you can fantasize about whatever you want during that time. God knows in my brain, I've had sex with men, women, groups, strangers, celebrities, aliens, minotaurs, robots and gargoyles. I've topped them and bottomed for them. I've done them in my bed, in a hotel, on the beach, in a car, and on a wrestling mat with both teams watching. Because it's fantasy, and it's fun, damnit. So if you're enjoying it, just enjoy it.

I would suggest trying masturbation without porn some of the time. I think doing that helps free your brain up a bit, and forces your to fantasize "outside of the screen", away from the linear script of whatever porn you happen to be watching. Feel free to fantasize about whatever, and let your brain skip around to whatever parts it feels are most exciting at that particular moment. You might find it difficult at first, but I'd stick with it for awhile.

As far as hooking up, I don't think that's such a terrible idea, so long as the guy you're hooking up with is completely informed and on board with what's going on. You basically want to tell him "I identify as straight, but I've fantasized about hooking up with a guy for some time, and I think I'd like to make that a reality. I'd be interested in giving oral, and receiving anal (safely). That said, I have a feeling that once I reach orgasm, I'm going to really lose interest, and want to bring the encounter to a close. So we'd have to try to arrange things so that you got off before or around the same time I did. I wouldn't want to leave you hanging just because the 'gay panic' response popped up once I finished." Of course, you'd still want to follow the "safe hook-up" protocols in addition to that.

That said, I think you might keep it a fantasy for the time being, and see if the fantasy keeps you satisfied for now. If not, you can always try hooking up at some later date.

Lex

 

I do have a question, and then once it is answered I feel like I can better give advice to you. What made you look up gay porn? Something had to have sparked your curiousity about gay porn to look it up and start watching it.