FTM transgender masturbating issues.

I suffer with extreme dysphoria when I have to masturbate. I find the only way to take the edge off is to use my pocket rocket vibrator. I no longer have orgasms because the only way I came was through my partner's penetration. he hasn't done it in awhile. so im tense and hating my body a lot more lately... how do I ease this dysphoria... bottom surgery isn't a option. and atm nether is finding someone else, or having sex with my partner.