1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I think I was date raped

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by colt, Dec 4, 2014.

  1. colt

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2014
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Utah
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Before I begin any of this story I'd like to say I don't know for certain what really happened. So maybe the facts don't lead up to date rape.....

    So there is this guy that I saw once as a hookup two weeks ago. He was a decent guy, and the sex was actually really really good. Last night I was feeling a little bit turned on, so I started texting him. He said I should come over and we could watch a movie.

    Half an hour later I'm there, sitting on his couch watching a show. I got up to use the bathroom, and when I come back he instantly starts making out with me hard core. We move it to the bedroom where we started to have sex.

    This is where things start to get a little hazy. I remember I started feeling a bit dizzy, and slightly nauseous. I thought maybe it was because I was so tired (it was 3 in the morning by this point) but at that point in my memory, it just cuts off. I have no idea what happened.

    This morning I woke up super late with a slight headache. I realized I was in my bedroom and had no idea how I got there. The last thing I remember was having sex with this guy.

    I checked my phone and found a missed call and some texts. The call was from my ex who said I called him last night sounding incoherent before hanging up a minute later. The other messages were from someone on Snapchat, who said that I had basically sext them all night (which by the way is TOTALLY not my style)

    The problem is, I don't remember ANY of this!

    What I don't understand is this: Why would you drug someone who is already coming over for sex?

    As for the chances to get drugged, I've realized there were two. While I was over I did get a glass of water. However I poured it myself from the tap. It was sitting next to us the whole time, and I'd like to think I'd have noticed if something was put in my drink.

    Someone also told me that people can use kissing to pass drugs, which would actually explain why he immediately started making out with me.

    However, I really want to believe he wouldn't do something like this. Though in reality, I don't really know him at all....just what we have texted.

    and actually, there is a motive I can imagine. He lives with two other guys, who are both also gay. I had seen one of them the time before, he really wasn't hot but he said I was cute. Maybe, just maybe this was a way for the other two to have sex also.... though I don't know how likely that would be.

    I don't know if I was actually drugged, thats the problem. All I know is there is a gap in my memory. There could be a very logical explanation, like I was really tired and just don't remember because I was so tired. maybe I repressed it? Or maybe I have a brain tumor. Or maybe the simplest explanation is the most right and I was in fact slipped a date rape drug.
     
  2. Black Raven

    Black Raven Guest

    Joined:
    May 6, 2014
    Messages:
    908
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Get to a doctor and have them test you for substances, right now.

    This is a serious matter, and you need to find out the truth so those responsible can be punished if it DID happen. Not to mention the STD complications that might arise.
    If it turns out that they really drugged you, they're criminals, and you're to have some compensation, not to mention them being rightfully prosecuted.

    How's your rearside feeling?
    Remember anything about protection?
     
    #2 Black Raven, Dec 4, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2014
  3. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I concur. If it was a date rape drug, there may be traces of it in your system... But only for a short time. So for multiple reasons, it makes sense to see a doctor.

    I'm really glad you felt safe enough to share this here. I can't exactly relate, because I haven't had that specific experience, but I can imagine how upsetting, disconcerting, and violating that must feel,especially since you don't remember what happened. I hope you will keep us in the loop and continue to share your feelings about what happened.
     
  4. colt

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2014
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Utah
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I forgot to mention there was also a crack in my phone screen that I KNOW wasn't there earlier that night.

    When we started having sex he wasn't using protection. I said something about it, but I don't remember if he put something on afterwards...

    Also I'm feeling fine. I'm a little bit sore, but I do know that I was having sex with him. So thats not a big surprise to me. It's not worse than usual, as I think would be the case if I'd had sex with multiple people. and there is no evidence anyone came inside me, which is a big relief...

    ---------- Post added 4th Dec 2014 at 04:10 AM ----------

    I am feeling very worried, but also very confused. I still don't understand why someone would do that to a willing partner. I was there by choice, I wanted to see him. Maybe it does involve a roommate. Or maybe it doesn't. I just want to know what happened during the hours I have no memory....
     
    #4 colt, Dec 4, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2014
  5. Adam1969

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2014
    Messages:
    133
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male
    It is very strange that someone would do this to a wiling partner! Also, incredibly, incredibly irresponsible, dangerous and also a crime.

    I cant say if you were date raped but it definitely sounds like you were drugged. These are incredibly potent drugs. Especially for someone your age with possibly no heavy drug experience. The way you describe your transition from lucidity to increasing drowsiness and passing out: Your description of having woken up late and finding you called a friend incoherently with no memory of anything after lucidity. This is a classic "drug" experience.

    Tell a few friends to decrease your fear and boost you safety. Do not go after the individual aggressively either in person online or by phone. If you believe he raped you, stay away from him for you own safety. If he contacts you tell him to never speak to you again :eusa_naug and if you are truly fearful call the police. Don't feel guilty for protecting your life! :thumbsup:

    I am sorry to be so intense but people do die this way. Were not talking about recreational drugs here. Horse tranquilizers etc. are not intended for human use! Those that are should be administered by a person with decades of education and training.

    In closing, if this young man did it to you he will do it to others. Possibly one of them may not survive.

    Good luck young man! Please understand I am not angry. I am only being so direct as your life can be long and I'd hate to see you lose it to a jerk! :thumbsup:
     
    #5 Adam1969, Dec 4, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2014
  6. Black Raven

    Black Raven Guest

    Joined:
    May 6, 2014
    Messages:
    908
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    There is no justification for drugging someone, no matter if you chose to see him or not. As I said, it's a very serious matter and if he is capable of drugging you, you have no idea what else he might be capable of.

    Once again, please, please go see a doctor and get tested for substances immediately.
    You don't need to understand the why just yet, it's more important to find out if he did get drugged or not.

    I'm glad you're feeling okay, either way. (*hug*)
    Whatever your worries might be, we're here to listen and support.
     
    #6 Black Raven, Dec 4, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2014
  7. QueerTransEnby

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2014
    Messages:
    3,708
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Michigan, USA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    This is what scares me about hookups. Oh my gosh... :frowning2: I hope you can get help.
     
  8. White Knight

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2014
    Messages:
    1,816
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Istanbul, TR
    Oh you can/will drug someone willing if your intention is making something more than sex with them... like you know for them to stand still while you are gutting them.

    I am not telling to scare anyone but it is one of the possibilities if not one of the scariest.

    Listen what others said and go to a doctor asap and check everything.

    Forgot to add, did you check your body for any neddle marks? Better do that as well.
     
  9. nexusll

    nexusll Guest

    If I were you, I'd get PrEP
     
  10. DinelodiiGitli

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2014
    Messages:
    510
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Land of Citrus Fruit and Gators.
    Definitely get yourself tested for any possible traces of drugs. There is no excuse for what he did if he actually did do this, it's wrong and charges can be pressed so he doesn't do it again to someone else.
     
  11. SouthernGeek

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2014
    Messages:
    76
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South Carolina
    That is scary! You've heard the rest, I echo: get tested for drugs!
     
  12. Morse Code

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2014
    Messages:
    157
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I agree, get to a doctor ASAP if you haven't yet. To answer your question, it doesn't necessarily matter that you already wanted to have sex if you did and you were still drugged. It's a sick game for some people.
     
  13. colt

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2014
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Utah
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    As an update, I did go and see a doctor today. The tests didn't show anything though I was told it could have already been flushed from my system. I still don't know what happened in that time, and I've tried talking to that guy though he won't return any of my texts.

    I'm really glad I was able to talk some things through with people here. I was just going to disregard it as a forgetful night, but after all the advice I was getting I knew I needed to get checked out. I'm really glad I came back clean, but it still scares me. If you can't trust someone you know, how are you supposed to trust anyone at all?

    Again, thank you for your advice. I learned a lot and really felt like there are still good people in the world who have your back. You rock!
     
  14. Black Raven

    Black Raven Guest

    Joined:
    May 6, 2014
    Messages:
    908
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Glad to hear you seem to be alrite. (*hug*)

    Don't let this stop you from enjoying your life, just take care out there.
    Well, life IS a learning experience.
     
  15. Adam1969

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2014
    Messages:
    133
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male
    ""I've tried talking to that guy though he won't return any of my texts.""

    Thats probably because he knows what he did was wrong!

    ""If you can't trust someone you know, how are you supposed to trust anyone at all?""

    Tough question. We've been writing poetry, songs etc. about that for thousands of years. Good luck brutha!

    Some closing advice... although it is difficult to walk around constantly being paranoid, I'd recommend that you literally drink nothing that you didnt pour or at least see being poured. Also, maybe never let your drink out of your sight. I'd like to think of this as diligence not paranoia!?
     
  16. colt

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2014
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Utah
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I love this, great advice
     
  17. antibinary

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2014
    Messages:
    778
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    Get tested now.