Here's the thing, I grew up as an ugly fat kid. I've dropped over 100 pounds to the point where I'm now an average tall and skinny guy, but I see myself as enormous. I've talked to random guys on gay chat apps with the intention of meeting up to just have sex and get it over with but I can't. It sucks being a closeted virgin with my 24th birthday just right around the corner. I'm so self-conscious about my body and I fell like nobody will ever like me if i can't even like myself. This leads to depression, substance use and too much thinking about doing really stupid things to feel anything or nothing at all. I'm so horny but yet so full of fear that I don't act on my sexual feelings. I don't know...