I am totally new T this....what is it like to receive for the firtst time...and to give? Any tips? I ve had sex with guys before ( notmuch) but i never wanted that to happen...guess i m unconfortable with that....i still am but i want to try it anyway....are there guys who dont like anal sex?
To answer your last question first, while I don't actively dislike anal, I don't enjoy it all that much. It doesn't hurt (once you know what you're doing), doesn't gross me out, or anything like that. I just find the sensations less than overwhelming and usually more work than their worth. I'll take a good massage over anal sex any day. Based on past discussions here, my rough estimate is that around 25-30% of gays aren't into anal, with 'aren't into' ranging from 'well, ok, if you want to' (about where I fall into) to 'hell will freeze before I do that!'. That said, I've both topped and bottomed, including being in a 3yr relationship with someone who was basically a dedicated top. So I got a lot of practice in receiving and have done some giving. For either role, if you're new my recommendation is to start with the top either laying on his back while the bottom lowers themself down onto him or with both of you on your sides spoon fashion with the top entering from behind. The first position lets the bottom control the process (speed and depth of initial penetration, speed of initlal thrusting). The second minimizes the amount that both of you have to fight gravity. The guy I first bottomed with (the 3yr relationship) used that method and there was very little discomfort (and he was on the large side). Once both people have gotten into the process, you can change positions and determine which one(s) you like best. Beyond that, lube, lube, and more lube. You want to make sure you don't use something that will break down the condom (because of course you will only practice safe sex, right? I knew you would). Water based lube generally works with everything. Don't rush, and set things up so you have plenty of time (so not a situation where roommates are coming home in an hour or two or you need to be somewhere or the like). A healthy fiber diet and going to the bathroom an hour or two beforehand will leave you pretty clean. The condom and lube will take care of the rest generally, although it doesn't hurt to have a nice soft towel or two laid down for extra comfort and easy clean up afterward. A hand towel/washcloth or two for clean up is also good to have around. Consider buying a couple of toys to practice with first. Something like a prostate massager that will be small in girth to start with and then something along the lines of an 'average' size dildo or other toy. Amazon carries a lot of stuff and includes customer reviews (Always read the customer reviews). Be sure that all toys have a flange or other mechanism to prevent them from going all the way inside. If you want, you can play/practice alone at first (no performance pressure) and then move on to having your partner use the toys on you (and vice versa). Then move on to the real thing (although if you enjoy the toys, feel free to keep using them - variety is the spice of life) As mentioned, I don't find anal to be all that pleasurable, so will leave it to others to describe that part since most guys seem to find the sensations rather intense. Hope this helps, Todd
