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Anxiety Attack Any Time I Try to Get Physical?

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by cumberbatched, Dec 18, 2014.

  1. cumberbatched

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    I'm not sure if this is the right forum for this matter, but here goes. So I haven't had many relationships with any gender anyway, but the few times I have tried anything more than a small make out I get these severe anxiety attacks. Like one time a guy came over and we were making out...A LOT...which already made me a little uncomfortable, but when he went a bit further it started to really freak me out to the point where I was shaking a little bit. I don't understand why this happens and I don't want it to happen anymore. I feel like when I am just thinking about it to myself I am fine and feel like I can handle it, but anytime it actually starts to happen my brain just like freaks out. Why is this happening and what can I do about it?
     
  2. cherry tree

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    It's normal to be uncomfortable with things you don't want. You freaking out and shaking seems like your brain saying "no, I don't want this" and it's ok to say that out loud. I personally need to be able to really trust someone if I want to make out with them so I know that if I ever tell them to stop, they definitely will and won't be mad or something.
    Was this guy you were making out with someone you could trust that way? Were you able to say no when he went too far?
    If those anxiety attacks happen with anyone, no matter your relationship and your level of trust, maybe that's something you might want to talk to someone about (a friend/family member or maybe some kind of counsellor).
    If that's not the case, try to think about things you know you don't want to happen and be ready to tell your partner.
     
  3. bingostring

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    I think if you do it well with someone you trust in a safe place and you can melt all those panic barriers away pretty quick.
     
  4. cumberbatched

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    Thanks for the advice guys! Yeah, he was pretty nice about me saying no but he did try to push it a few times even after I expressed it. I think it would help if I really got to know and trust someone better.